Out of Dreams, Into the Forgotten
by Sensara
Summary: Kes is transported back to Kirk's Enterprise by strange aliens with a mysterious purpose. Why is she there and how will the crew accept her? Rated T for safety. On hiatus.
1. Night Changes Many Thoughts

_**Disclaimer for all chapters: Star Trek and Star Trek: Voyager belong Gene Roddenberry and all its rightful owners, and that's not me. All OCs belong to me, along with some of the plot.**_

_The room pulsed with heat and humidity. Buttons and switches on control panels blinked and beeped. There was barely enough light to make out the features of the room._

_An alien was facing the far wall. He turned to retrieve something from an island console in the center of the room. His skin was deep blue, and tattoos framed his eyes. The tattoos were glowing. Subtle ridges swept outward from his nose along his cheeks, much like the veins of a leaf._

_He turned back to the far wall, and a large screen lit up. A woman's face appeared on it, her features smiling. She looked human, but her ears were pointed like an elf's. Her hair was cropped but stylish and her eyes twinkled in merriment._

_Another alien joined the first. "Is she the one?" he hissed._

"_Yes," the first responded. "Calculations show she will die within the week. She will be perfect."_

"_Let us begin our preparations, then," ordered the second._

_The room dissolved like rain down a glass panel, into darkness. The only sound was the hissing laughter of the strange aliens._

Kes woke from her nightmare, sweating.

…

"Doctor?"

The EMH stopped humming and looked up from his work. "Yes?"

Kes sighed. "I had the strangest dream last night. Can you tell me what you think about it?"

"Sure," the Doctor said, smiling. "What strange night visions did we experience last night, hmm?"

Kes smiled back, but sobered as she described her dream. The Doctor stopped working to concentrate more fully on the dream and Kes' reaction to it.

"It was my face on the screen, Doctor. They said….they said I would die within the week. But it was odd that it was my face when I had short hair. They said they had to make preparations for my death. Then everything dissolved and I woke up." She looked into her mentor's eyes. "It felt so real, like I was there in the humid, dark room with them. It felt…almost like a premonition."

She turned away. "But what do I know, it was probably nothing."

The Doctor frowned and pulled out a medical tricorder and scanned her head. "Have you had dreams like this before?"

"No, never."

"Hmm…." He continued scanning and his frown deepened. "I'm reading increased serotonin levels, 40% above normal." He closed the scanner. "Kes…."

"What does this mean, Doctor?"

He looked at her. "It means…that dream just might be a vision. You may die in the next week."


	2. Something New Beginning

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

_Voyager_ was beyond her now, back on course for Earth and out of Borg space. With their exit, her restraint gave way and she felt her body dissolve into nothing. She raised her hands in acceptance of this new existence, and the world melted away into darkness.

….

Darkness.

And cold.

Swirling nothingness, only the cold sunless void.

Suddenly the void came alive in a blaze of heat and pain. Everything inside her was churning like a whirlpool. Her head felt like it had been doused in acid; every follicle felt on fire. Her eyes were burning and she squeezed them shut in a futile attempt to block out the searing agony. The world was flame, she was flame; her existence was torment.

_If I'm dead, this is hell. Please, make it stop!_

Then, as suddenly as it had come, the pain ended and a new sensation took its place. Her mind was filling with knowledge and memories that were never hers. Every moment of her life up to this point was still there, but new thoughts were pushing her old life to the side to make room for a new life. She knew this was true: her life on Voyager was ended. The knowledge filling her head now was nearly a century out of date to her current knowledge, but she accepted it.

She felt the familiar tingle of a transporter beam and straightened a bit.

…

Captain Kirk paced in frustration and impatience. A new recruit was due today, but he had other business to attend to and was eager for this to be over with.

Doctor McCoy was lost in thought about the information he had received on the newest crewmember. No one knew what this person was, and it was his job to find out. Whatever they may be, they were to work in his department, in the medical lab.

Scotty shook his head at the Captain's pacing. The Enterprise was to rendezvous at Starbase 3 to pick up vaccines for a plague in the Rigel system. As that solar system was heavily populated, the Chief Engineer knew the Captain was impatient to get on with the mission. Scotty wasn't too happy about a new recruit holding up a rescue mission, but he knew it wasn't the newcomer's fault. The signal flashed and he commenced transport, to Kirk's relief.

When every molecule was back in place, a young woman stood on the pad. McCoy stared at her, trying to figure out what species she was, and for the fact that she was rather attractive. She looked like an elf more than anything, with pointed ears and sharp features. Her hair was cut pixie-style, bangs covering her forehead. Her eyes were a gorgeous deep blue. She wasn't very tall and she was slightly stocky in the torso, but her limbs were slender. She looked nervous until she saw the smiles of the assembled welcoming party. Then an infectious, joyful smile spread across her features, and the already beautiful woman became even lovelier because of it.

"Ensign Kes reporting for duty, sir. Permission to come aboard."


	3. And Something Ends

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Permission granted," the Captain replied. Kes' joyous smile had undone his unfriendly mood and put him at ease. He smiled back as he shook her hand but excused himself to return to the bridge.

Dr. McCoy stepped forward. "It's nice to meet you, Ensign Kes. I'm Dr. Leonard McCoy, and you'll be working in my department," he said with a grin. "A fact that pleases me to no end."

Kes shook his hand with enthusiasm. "The pleasure's all mine, Dr. McCoy." She racked her brain for that name-she was certain she had heard it before.

_This exact procedure was developed by Dr. Leonard McCoy in the year 2253._

The Doctor had told Denara! Now she remembered. She knew she would like this man; in a way the Doctor had carried part of Dr. McCoy in him, so she felt close to home when she shook the CMO's hand.

"And this, my dear, is Mr. Scott, our Chief Engineer."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Scott," said Kes, shaking his hand.

"Welcome aboard the Enterprise, lass, and please, call me Scotty," he said with a smile. "Are you up to a tour?"

"Yes, I think I'd like that very much, but if I remember my procedures correctly, I'm due for a physical."

McCoy smiled. "That can wait a day or two, dear. There's no big hurry."

She nodded, but she was worried about the foreign diseases she had picked up in the Delta Quadrant that this crew would have no immunity against, and about the diseases these people had that she might get. She shook her head.

"I'm eager to take a tour but I really think it best to do a physical first."

McCoy laughed. "Alright, I'll inform Ms. Chapel she has a physical to do this afternoon. In the meantime, may I show you your quarters?"

"Yes, I'd like that very much." She was surprised when the doctor offered his arm to her. Scotty picked up the bag that she hadn't noticed still on the pad. The trio exited and headed for the turbolift.

"Where are you from, Ensign?" asked Scott.

"From a little-known planet on the outskirts of the quadrant," she replied, not lying entirely.

"What's it like?" asked McCoy as they entered the turbolift. "Deck 10," he ordered. The turbolift descended.

"It's hot, barren and inhospitable on the surface, but in the underground compounds my people have built it's not too bad. Are you from Earth?"

"Yes, from Georgia," replied the CMO.

"And I'm from Linlithgow, Scotland," commented Scotty.

"But your accent is from Aberdeen," argued Kes, confused.

Scotty's eyes brightened. "How did you know?"

Kes smiled and followed McCoy out the doors. "I knew an engineer with an Aberdeen accent like yours."

"What was this engineer's name?"

Kes shook her head. "I don't remember, Cameron or Campbell, something like that. You probably wouldn't know him."

"Never heard of a Cameron…oh well."

"Tell me about Georgia," Kes encouraged the doctor.

"Well, its hot most of the time, but you'll never see a lovelier place. The grass is green, flowers bloom; we've got rivers and lakes and mountains and farmlands and beaches and forests…just about anything beautiful can be found in Georgia, darlin'."

"You may have farmlands and beaches, but you don't have the Scottish moors. I ne'er seen a more bonny sight than _that_, Dr." stated Scotty.

Kes laughed. "If I return to Earth I'll visit both of them, Scotland _and_ Georgia."

They smiled and changed the subject. Within five minutes they had found Kes' quarters and Scotty set down her bag. Kes thanked them both and promised to be in sickbay that afternoon for the physical.

Curious, Kes examined the contents of the bag. Some of her clothes from _Voyager _were in there, along with her comm-badge from the 24th century. She would have to hide it somewhere; else someone like Scotty might figure it out. She opened the drawers to find a hiding place and found some uniforms and the toiletries she would need. Going back to her bag, she reached in and pulled out something from the bottom. When she looked closer her heart stopped.

It was a frame. In it was a photograph like those from the 21st century. Kes saw her image in the picture, along with all of the people she knew and loved. Captain Janeway rested her chin on Kes' head, embracing the Ocampan. Standing beside Janeway was Tuvok, arms folded stiffly but a slight smile playing at the edge of his lips. Tom and Harry were on Janeway's other side and Tom had put bunny ears behind Harry's head, unbeknownst to Harry. B'Elanna was looking at them with a look of incredulity that was bordering on laughter. Chakotay, next to Tuvok, smiled winningly at the camera and rested his hand on Kes' shoulder. Neelix had his arm around her, kneeling in front of Tom and Harry. On Kes' other side was the Doctor, smiling almost arrogantly at the camera as he kneeled next to Kes and put _his_ arm around her. Everyone was in tropical clothing and everyone looked like they were having the time of their lives.

_The lieu on the holodeck. I remember now._

Her vision blurred as she gazed at the photograph. She placed it lovingly on the bedside table, remembering all the good times she had shared with her friends- no- her family_._

But her thoughts were interrupted by the door buzzer.


	4. An Examination

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Come in!" Kes called.

Commander Spock strode in. Kes stood and saluted him in the traditional Vulcan manner. Spock raised an eyebrow and returned the gesture.

"I am Spock. Welcome aboard the _Enterprise_, Ensign."

Kes nodded. "Live long and prosper, Spock. Thank you."

He glanced around her quarters and spotted the picture frame.

"May I?"

"Certainly."

He picked it up and examined it closely. His eyes lingered on every face but especially on those of Neelix, Tuvok and B'Elanna.

"May I ask who they are, Ensign?"

"They are like family to me."

"Who is the Vulcan?"

"His name is Tuvok."

Spock raised his eyebrows again. "I have not had the pleasure of meeting him. What about the man to your right?" He handed her the picture frame.

"Oh, that's Neelix. He's Talaxian."

"I have not heard of such a species. The woman next to the two humans?"

"Her name is B'Elanna Torres; her mother was Klingon."

Spock's brow furrowed. "Indeed. The others?"

Kes pointed to each. "That's Katherine Janeway, Chakotay, Tom Paris, Harry Kim, and the Doctor. And me."

Spock nodded and stopped asking her questions. "I have come to inform you that you have a physical at 1400 this afternoon, which is in 30 minutes. I will escort you to sickbay."

"Thank you. I know I'll be working in the medical laboratory, but when do I report for work?"

"0800. The head of the medical laboratory is Lieutenant Steinburg. I will show you where to go before we report for your examination. The lieutenant will tell you your duties and answer any questions you may have. Come with me, please." He turned and walked out the door; Kes followed, intrigued.

"You did not give your doctor a name," commented Spock.

"He didn't have one."

"Why so?"

"His…parents didn't think one was necessary."

Spock mused. "That is fascinating. I would like to continue this conversation, but that will have to wait until later. This is where you will work." He gestured to a door, which Kes entered. After examining the room for a few minutes, she nodded and gestured for Spock to lead her to sickbay.

McCoy was waiting for them. "Ah, there she is. Nurse!" he called into the other room.

"Here, doctor." A young blonde woman walked in and smiled nervously at Spock. The Vulcan, having performed his duty, excused himself and left.

"Right up here." He patted a biobed and Kes lay down. The panel above her lit up and started beeping. McCoy studied it.

"Let's see what you are, Ensign. Any ideas?"

"Not really," she lied.

"Hmmm. Heartbeat a little above normal, blood pressure is a little high…probably to be expected for an unknown species," he commented smilingly. "This is odd…serotonin levels up 20%." He thought for a moment before turning to Kes. "You worked in medicine for about 2 years. Are these readings normal for you?"

Kes smiled. "Yes, everything's normal except for the serotonin. If that gets above 60%, it could be dangerous."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, writing on a PADD. "Any family history of disease, heart problems?"

"No."

"Why did you want to get this physical done right away?" he asked in an off-hand manner.

"I thought it would be best for my safety and for the safety of the crew."

"Have you ever been vaccinated for Terrelian flu?"

"No, not that I recall."

He picked up a nearby hypospray and injected the vaccine. He continued the physical without further ado. After nearly an hour in sickbay, he released Kes.

"You still haven't had the grand tour but I'm sure you're tired," McCoy said. "I'll escort you back to your quarters."

"You don't have to do that, you know," Kes replied with a smile. "I remember the way back." The doctor raised an eyebrow, causing Kes to laugh.

"I have recorded eidetic memory, doctor," she said softly. "I'd enjoy your company."

She hopped off the biobed and the pair strode from sickbay, arm in arm.


	5. Lunch Date

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Ensign, I'd like you to meet Lieutenant Sulu and Ensign Chekov."

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you," said Kes with a genuine smile. The pair returned it.

"Welcome aboard the _Enterprise_, Ensign," said Sulu, a tall, dark-haired, rather handsome-looking Asian.

"Please, sir, call me Kes."

"It's rare that we have such a bweautivul lady aboard this starship," said Chekov, a young Russian with brown hair and an adorable smile.

Kes laughed. "You are very kind."

"Care to join us, gentleman?" asked Steinburg, whom with Kes was having lunch in the mess hall.

"We would but we're having lunch with Scotty. I hope you don't mind," Sulu replied.

"Oh, not at all. Go right ahead." On cue, Scotty strode through the doors. Spotting the men and Kes, he meandered over.

"I'd love to steal your lunch date," he said, addressing Steinburg, "but I've having lunch with these gentlemen. How are you settling in, lass?"

"It's only been two days and everyone's accepted me like I've been here forever," Kes reported. "Everyone's been so kind to me."

"Well, it's good to know everyone aboard remembers their manners," replied Sulu. With a wave and one last smile, the threesome headed to another table.

"It's true," Kes commented when they returned to their lunch. "It feels like I'm back with my friends, the Doctor and Tuvok and Tom. All of them. I see them in other people."

"Tell me about your friends."

"Well, the…_leader_ of us all I guess was Katherine Janeway. Like a captain. If I could name anyone in the universe who was my mother when I needed one most, it would be her. She gave me loads of advice, she accepted me without question…she even went through some crazy ritual to save me from my own stupidity."

Steinburg looked intruiged. "What happened?"

"We were on this planet, on vacation, and we were visiting some holy sites of the native people. We had a guide, but Neelix and I got separated from the group. We found a temple and I felt…drawn to it. Neelix warned me that it was a bad idea, but I kept going, right into a force field that put me into a coma for three or four days. Janeway had met with planet officials and tried to find a way to help me. After some research, she thought she could plead to the spirits on my behalf. She was painted on, she painted on walls, she stared at a rock for hours, got bitten by some creature and then carried me through the force field again. I was cured because of her determination to help me."

Steinburg nodded. So they chatted the lunch hour away, talking about Kes' life and former friends, then about Steinburg and life aboard the _Enterprise._

Although she didn't know it, other members of the crew were making her a topic of conversation.

"What do you think of her, Bones?"

"Well, from what Steinburg has reported, she does her work magnificently and she gets along perfectly with everyone. I'm glad she's part of the crew."

"Yes, I believe she's an…excellent addition, and a beautiful one at that."

The doctor nodded his head in agreement absentmindedly. Kirk frowned.

"What is it, Bones?"

McCoy glanced up. "Oh, nothing, just thinking," he sighed, and he smiled. "See you later, Jim."

Kirk watched as his friend strode from the mess hall, but noted that he deliberately changed course to head by Kes' table. He talked to her and Steinburg for a bit before exiting the room. Kirk smiled.

"I see what you're thinking about, doc."


	6. Dagger of the Mind, Part 1

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. Sorry it took so long to upload this.**_

"Ensign Kes, report to the transporter room."

"Understood, doctor."

Kes hurried to her destination, feeling rather excited about her first away mission with the _Enterprise_ crew. They had picked up an intruder from the penal colony and were returning him now. She wasn't sure why she was going along, but she was sure she would get a briefing from the captain.

The doors whooshed open to allow her entrance into the transporter room. A woman in science blue waited on a pad. Kes recognized her as Dr. Helen Noelle, a resident scientist who worked in the labs.

"Hello, Dr. Noelle. It appears I'll be joining you on this mission."

"Wonderful, Kes," she said, smiling. "It's not so much a mission as an investigation. Dr. McCoy had some doubts about these facilities and about Dr. Adams, so the captain has to inspect them and make a report. You and I will assist him. And please, call me Helen."

Kes nodded and took the pad behind Helen's. A few moments later, the captain strode in with Mr. Spock, but he had his back turned to the pads when he gave the transporter chief directions. When he turned and caught sight of Helen, he stopped dead and stared in shock. It was rather funny, but Kes made sure not to smile. It seemed Mr. Spock was having the same trouble.

"Dr. Helen Noelle, captain," she said softly. "We've met."

The captain glanced at Spock, then begrudgingly stepped onto a pad next to Helen.

"Can't you remember," she muttered. "The science lab Christmas party?"

"Yes, I remember," Kirk interjected.

"You…dropped in-"

"Yes, yes, I remember," he cut her off, obviously trying to hush her up.

Spock raised his eyebrows. "Problem, captain?"

Kirk glanced at Helen and returned to Mr. Spock. She heard McCoy mentioned in the captain's low tone. Helen tried to look all innocent, and Kes suspected that the CMO would get a berating from Kirk later.

They transported down close to a thick metal doorway set into a large three-story building. The trio glanced around as Kirk gestured for them to enter a room in front of them. Helen asked the captain to address by her first name, but he insisted that the situation did not allow him to do that.

Suddenly, the doors closed and the elevator descended at a high rate of speed. Acting purely out of instinct, the captain grabbed the two women and held them tight. After a few moments, when she got used to the vertigo, Kes broke away from Kirk's embrace and straightened her uniform. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. A man stood there in a blue jumpsuit, an insignia of a hand cradling a bird in front of a yellow sun on his chest. He smiled.

"Hello Captain Kirk," he said. "And uh…."

"Dr. Helen Noelle and Ensign Kes. It's a pleasure to finally meet you sir," Kirk responded.

"Thank you. Thank you, captain. Welcome to Devil's Island, ladies."

"Perhaps you'll call me Helen, Dr; with so many titles around, we're not going to be sure who's talking to who."

The party laughed. After Dr. Adams gestured for them to enter the room behind him and Kirk held his weapon out for the doctor to take. Adams refused and he commenced pouring a drink for a toast, saying how excited he was to have visitors. Kirk tried to signal the Enterprise, and after Adams turned off the security force field, he was successful.

…

After their extensive tour, including that of the neural neutralizer room, Kes sat in her quarters. The captain had checked in with Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy. They had discussed Van Gelder's condition and the trustworthiness of Dr. Adams.

Her door buzzed, and Dr. Adams himself walked in. Kes stood.

"Hello, doctor. Do you need something?"

"No, I just wanted to talk to you. You're the only one of my guests that I don't know anything about. I was curious and thought I'd ask you a little about yourself," he explained.

Kes wondered why he hadn't asked these questions earlier and in front of the others.

"You doubt me, don't you? I am simply curious, that is all, I assure you. No one like yourself has ever come here. I'm taking a scientific interest in you; you can understand that," he continued, smiling kindly.

Kes nodded. "What do you want to know?"

"Well first, what are you?"

"I don't know," Kes lied. "All I was told by my foster parents was that I am from a barren planet at the edge of the galaxy, very far from here. I got the impression that was all they knew."

"Ah, so you're not Vulcan. No, their homeworld is not on the edge of galaxy nor very far away in Federation space. So you're a mystery…."he mused, staring at her ears. "I must admit that you are quite lovely, whatever species you come from."

"Thank you," Kes said flatly. Adams was making her feel uncomfortable.

"What role do you serve aboard the _Enterprise_?"

"I work in the medical labs under Lt. Steinburg, but ultimately my superior officer is Dr. McCoy."

"Really? Do you know much about him?"

"No, not really. He's from Georgia on Earth and he's Chief Medical Officer."

Adams nodded. "Well, I'm sure you're tired, and I got all the answers I wanted. Thank you for your time, Ensign."

He gave her one last apologetic smile and left her alone. Not half-an-hour later, the Captain and Helen entered.

"Come on, Ensign, we're going to the neural neutralizer room to run some tests."

Kes nodded and followed the pair out.

…

"I have no desire to damage my brain," the captain said. "Can this be handled with reasonable safety? Yes or no?"

"Yes," Helen answered.

"And will you be able to determine if that beam is harming me in the slightest?" Kirk asked.

"Yes, captain, I know my profession."

Kirk nodded and entered the room, sitting in the solitary chair and glancing at the generator of the beam.

"Ready?" Helen asked.

"Hmm."

"We'll try minimum intensity, a second or two."

Helen turned the dial up slighty. Kes watched as the captain's face was drained of all emotion, completely stoic and blank. She glanced over at Helen with concern, but she had already terminated the beam.

"Anytime you're ready, doctor, just for a second or two." Kes frowned.

"We already tried it for that long, captain," Helen insisted.

"Nothing happened."

"Something happened," said Kes. "Your face went completely blank."

"Try a…harmless suggestion," Kirk ordered.

Helen turned the dial again and spoke into the microphone, "You're hungry." She turned it off.

Kirk smiled. "You know, when we finally get through this, I'd like to locate and raid a kitchen somewhere," he said, smirking.

Helen snorted. "I put that suggestion in your mind, captain. I said simply that you were hungry."

Kirk's smile dissipated. "Quite effective for something Dr. Adams was going to abandon."

"I think we should try this again," Kes said.

"Yes. Pick something unusual, an unusual suggestion, something we can all be sure of."

Helen thought for a moment, then turned the dial. She described a department Christmas party with a romantic interlude between her and Kirk afterward. Kirk's face slid into a satisfied smile as she described the scene to him.

But then Kes felt arms wrapped tight around her, trapping her and keeping her still. She struggled as Dr. Adams strode by her and took over the demonstration. He turned the beam up to a higher intensity.

"You're madly in love with Helen, captain. You'd lie, cheat, steal for her, sacrifice your career, your reputation,"

"No doctor, no!" Helen insisted through gritted teeth. But her captor, the facilitator of the room from the tour held her tight, and she couldn't get away.

"You feel it, captain: you must have her or the pain grows worse." The captain squirmed. "The pain, the longing for her," Adams continued.

"Helen," Kirk whispered. Helen twisted and tried her best to break free.

"For years you've loved her, captain. For _years_."

"For years I've loved you," the captain repeated.

"You must continue to remember that, captain," Adams taunted. "And now, she's gone." He twisted the dial up even further.

"Helen," the captain moaned. "Helen, don't go! I need you, Helen!" he shouted, filled with pain and longing.

Kes hung her head as Adams made Kirk drop his phaser, and she nearly cried when he was tortured further as he tried to call the _Enterprise _for help. Her fear and horror turned to anger and hatred. She concentrated on the back of Adams' head, gritting her teeth. Adams stopped and whipped around at the strong sting near the base of his skull. But Kes didn't stop. Adams winced and screwed up his face as she continued. Her captor, realizing who was hurting Adams, increased his grip on her, making her cry out in pain. The link was broken.

Adams rubbed the back of his head and turned the beam down.

"You'll pay for that," he snarled at her. Assistants came and took the now-unconscious Kirk away, along with Helen. But the man holding her forced her into the chair that Kirk had occupied. She heard Adams' voice.

"Let's see, let's see. How do I make the mystery guest suffer for what she tried to do? You know, that sting still hurts. You feel it too, strong and painful right where mine is."

The beam strength increased, sending a wave of pain to the base of her skull. She gasped. The tide of emptiness was dragging her down, like a current in an ocean. Everything was so empty. All she could feel or think about was the pain, gnawing at her head like a beast on a bone.

"You're new aboard your ship, Ensign, but I'm sure you've made some friends. Like that Steinburg fellow you mentioned, and Dr. McCoy. They're important to you and you feel strong friendship towards them."

The tide of pain receded, leaving a warm feeling as she thought of her new friends on the _Enterprise._

"You're so lonely without them. You need them, especially…epecially Dr. McCoy. He's special to you, maybe he reminds you of someone you lost. You feel even stronger feelings for him, perhaps even love. Yes, you feel love for the doctor, so strong you can hardly stand it."

McCoy's face swam before her mind's eye like a ghost. She noticed now the brightness of his blue eyes and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. Her breathing increased to a slight pant.

"McCoy," she moaned, her fingers itching to touch his face.

"The longing increases. Ever since you saw him, you've yearned to be in his arms."

She saw McCoy's face get closer, inches from her own, as he held her and lightly kissed her neck. Her heartbeat soared and she moaned in longing.

"Oh, but you can't have him. He'll never know how you feel about him. He's gone forever. You'll never see him again."

Her mind's eye image of McCoy disappeared like smoke. It was as if a bubble of warmth and happiness had been popped with a needle. Her insides ached with loneliness and longing.

"No!" she screamed, nearly sobbing. "Doctor! Dr. McCoy, come back, please!" she pleaded with the void, with Dr. Adams.

"I need you," she whimpered. The void opened up like the maw of some wild creature, waiting to eat her. There was no escape from the emptiness, the loneliness, that painful solitude that filled her being like a glass overflowing with water.

Then it was all gone.

"Yes, that will do for now," Adams muttered down to Kes' form, out cold. "But you'll feel it all again soon. Such a pity; you are quite lovely."


	7. Dagger of the Mind, Part 2

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

Kes woke in darkness. For a second she felt the consuming emptiness, but it quickly faded, replaced with a longing for her companions. She needed to know whether Dr. McCoy was alive or dead, gone or still there.

The lights came back on. She sat up and swung her legs out to the side of the bed. Her head was pounding at the base of her skull, and it felt familiar. She groaned and massaged the spot.

Standing up, she took a look around. The room was empty except for her. Again, that terrible loneliness threatened to crush her, but she held it back with thoughts of McCoy. His eyes, his hair, his voice, his smile. Her head continued to smart.

The door whooshed open and Mr. Spock entered with Helen, followed closely by Kirk and Dr. McCoy. At the sight of the CMO, her heart leapt for joy and her face broke into a radiant smile.

"Doctor," she gasped. Helen rushed forward and held Kes' arms, blocking her from McCoy.

"What did he do to you? Do you remember Adams? His voice? Pain? He put it into your mind, Kes! They're not your thoughts," she insisted, forcing Kes to look at her.

"Doctor McCoy…he said you had gone forever…."

"I'm right here, Kes. I'm not gone. I'm here," said McCoy, walking around to stand behind Kes. She twisted out of Helen's arms and into his, pressing her face into his chest.

Kirk looked on with understanding and pity. It would take a while for Dr. Adams' suggestions to leave her mind, but he was glad that McCoy had come down with the security team. He knew how relieved he had felt to wake up with Helen right there.

McCoy stroked Kes' hair and held her tight, whispering reassuringly while Kes sobbed into his shirt. He could only imagine the pain she and Kirk had gone through, and he wanted to be there for her. She needed him.

"I'm here, Kes. I'll always be here for you. It's gonna be ok, darlin'. It'll be ok. Shh…"

He heard a communicator open. "_Enterprise,_ come in. This is Captain Kirk."

"_Enterprise _here."

"Five to beam up."

…

For the next several days, McCoy didn't see much of Kes, and he knew she was avoiding him. He didn't fully understand why until Christine told him Kes' story. Nurse Chapel had counseled Kes and supported her as she recovered from the Tantalus incident.

He had listened in horror to the details of his head nurse's account, of how the monster, Dr. Adams, had forced Kes into thinking she loved McCoy, of the longing she had felt and the pain of "losing" him. Now he understood why Kes failed to meet his eyes when he greeted her in the mess hall, and why when he dropped by the medical lab to see how she was doing, she had quickly jumped at a chance to run an errand to get out of the room.

_Poor Kes, _he thought to himself. _I'll never forgive that rotten monster Adams for as long as I live._

"You should visit her, doctor. She needs to resolve this," Christine said, jerking him out of his thoughts.

"Right," he sighed. "I'll do that this afternoon."

A few hours later, he pressed the buzzer at her quarters and heard a call to come in.

Kes stopped dead at the sight of the CMO in her doorway, but she put down the PADD she was reading and nodded in greeting, standing up.

"May I come in, Ensign?" McCoy asked softly.

"Be my guest," she replied, sounding tired.

"Long day?"

"Yes," she said, yawning and stretching. "Sorry, Steinburg drove me into the dirt today with work; I guess that's his way to keep me busy. I don't need to be _that_ busy, but I have to admit it did help."

"Kes," McCoy said firmly. "We need to talk."

Relunctantly, Kes met his eyes. Bright blue irises burned into hers, like they were reaching into her soul and all her secrets were laid bare before them; and her heart was blazing in the scorching heat of those blue eyes.

Breaking off her vivid imagination, she nodded and gestured to a seat. McCoy took it, keeping his blazing eyes fixed on her while she sat cross-legged on the bed. For five minutes, a painful silence passed between them. Kes sighed and broke it.

"Doctor, I just want to thank you for being there for me, for not running away when I threw myself at you. I'm sorry about that." She let out a long breath that she had held in.

McCoy smiled. "I am too, but it's not your fault at all. From what Christine told me, the others should be thanking you. You tried to stop him, didn't you?"

"Yes. It didn't work, though. I could have done more, I could have prevented this –"

She stopped when she saw McCoy stand up; he walked right up to her and carefully placed his hand on her cheek, but she looked away. His hand then lightly lifted her chin, and she met his eyes. They were boring holes into hers.

"Don't you dare blame yourself, Ensign," he growled softly. "It. Wasn't. Your. Fault. You did all you could and more. Let this go, Kes," his voice was gentler now. "I miss when you would smile that pretty smile at me and share a joke with Scotty and, from what he tells me, be the sunshine of Steinburg's day. Now, are you gonna wallow around and let this fester in you or are you gonna put the past where it belongs?"

Kes stayed silent for a moment, shocked at his forceful tone. But he was right. She wasn't accomplishing anything by dwelling on her pain.

"I'm going to let this go," she said firmly.

"Now that's more like it," he muttered with a grin. His eyes were gentler as he gazed into hers; his thumb softly caressed her jawbone. He leaned forward and lightly kissed her forehead. To her surprise, chills ran down her spine when his lips softly brushed her flesh.

"See, darlin'? Everything's gonna be all right. I'm glad to have you back, Ensign, and I'm glad you're ok."

With one last caress of her cheek, he left her alone, but the ghost of his kiss still lingered on her forehead.


	8. The Galileo Seven

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter -bullcrap week! Don't worry, there's not much.**_

"Run this to the bridge, would you Kes?" ordered Steinburg.

"Yes, sir." Kes took the PADD from him and exited the lab. She nodded to the Galactic High Commisioner Farris on her way to the turbolift. He was headed the same way.

"What planet are you from?" he asked rather rudely when he saw Kes' ears.

"No one knows," she replied coolly. "It's very far from here, and very hot." The doors swished to a close. Kes ordered for the bridge.

"I see. And how did you come to Starfleet?"

"Friends recommended me. I was going to get a medical degree, but I changed my mind. I work in the medical labs now."

He nodded politely. "Well, it's nice to meet you…?"

"Ensign Kes."

"Kes. Do you have a first name?"

"That is my name," she said as the turbolift doors opened. Spotting her fellow Ensign Mara Spinelli, Kes rushed out, mostly to escape the manners, or lack thereof, from Farris.

"Hello Mara. Why are you up here?" Kes asked.

"Reports," Mara replied with a sigh.

"They never end, do they?"

Mara was about to answer when Farris addressed the captain.

"I remind you, captain, that I am entirely opposed to this delay. Your mission is to get those emergency medical supplies to Makus III in time for their transfer to the New Paris colonies."

Kes rolled her eyes at Mara, a signal that Uhura didn't miss. She flashed a quick grin towards the pair as the captain headed to the science station. He gave a rebuttal about standing orders considering quasars and quasar-like phenomena, which seemed to irritate Farris. Some days Kirk truly was awesome.

Kes listened as the shuttle Galileo transferred its pre-flight procedures over the comm. McCoy and Scotty and Mr. Spock were all on the mission. As Kirk signed her PADD, the last of the preparations were made in the shuttle, but she didn't hear the takeoff relay. She brushed past Farris and back onto the turbolift.

…

Kes was so absorbed in her work that she didn't hear the lab doors open. It was only when she felt the light tap on her shoulder that she spun around in surprise.

"Sorry I startled you. Do you have that sample ready yet?" McCoy asked politely.

"Almost done," Kes replied.

"Almost done? Kes, I was joking. It shouldn't be done for another hour yet," he exclaimed incredulously.

"But I swear I'm almost done," Kes insisted. "Here, look."

McCoy examined her work. "Amazing," he muttered to himself. "But how…." His eyes strayed to Kes, who was standing beside him. They gazed into hers with wonder and shock, and admiration.

"How did you do that so quickly? I've done it hundreds of times and I haven't done it in less than four hours." He sat on a stool, still staring at her as his lips twitched into a small smile.

"That's the way I've always done it, doctor. They taught me their way in the Academy, but I know this way is faster."

McCoy shook his head and laughed. "I knew you'd be useful, Kes. Good work. And you know," his smile widened, "if you keep this up, you could get promoted soon. Not making any promises, but just keep your head up, hon."

Kes sat down, speechless. "Promoted?"

McCoy chuckled. "Yes, honey, promoted! Not making guarantees, now," he drawled. He took the sample from her and clapped her on the shoulder. "But I could be looking at Lieutenant Kes, Junior grade pretty soon. Thanks, and really, good work."

He left the lab chuckling to himself, but the question of how Kes did the sample so fast was still a mystery.

Just like Kes was still, for the most part, a mystery, but McCoy hoped one day he could figure her out.


	9. Return of the Archons

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

_He looks so happy, _Kes thought to herself, quietly watching Sulu mutter to the ceiling with that vacant grin on his face. She wiggled in her chair and tried to get into a more comfortable position. She had just gotten off duty and the first thing she did was come down here. Sulu wasn't her best friend, but he was always polite and cheerful when they chatted on occasion. Now she felt like her presence beside him might make a difference. It was a silly notion, but it was all she had as she watched her crewmate slip deeper into the false contentment that had plagued him for the last 12 hours.

When she came to sickbay earlier, she hadn't even seen Sulu. Only McCoy as he rushed off to ship's stores to get ready for the landing party. They had been gone so long, and they were no closer to a cure for whatever Sulu was suffering from. _If you could call this suffering,_ she thought. Either way it probably didn't make much difference, for Sulu anyway. She had been on the bridge and had overheard Scotty's message to the captain about the heat waves. The ship was on red alert and everyone was on edge. Without engines, they wouldn't be able to maintain orbit for long; they would die in a blaze of fear and panic. At least Sulu would die happy and content, at peace.

Sighing deeply, she lightly touched Sulu's hand, and then his forehead.

And then she felt it.

Like a magnet to metal, her fingers seemed stuck to Sulu's skin. A presence, like a whisper, gnawed at the back of her mind. She heard a voice, a sweet voice, growing in intensity every second her fingers were touching Sulu. It was deep and rich, and as it grew louder other voices joined in with it, like a chorus of angels.

_Come to us, _it called sweetly. _Peace, contentment and health be yours. Long life to the body. It is the will of Landru._

Louder and louder it grew, like a tidal wave threatening to crush her. She was shocked when she heard Sulu's voice, and O'Neil and…McCoy. He called to her, beckoning in his Southern drawl.

_Landru waits for you._

The sound of the voices filled her head. She could hardly think, only listen to the call of Landru. His face, surrounded by the faces of all his people, clouded her vision.

_Come, Kes. Be with us in peace and harmony. Long live the body, and health to all of its parts!_

She felt peaceful and restful, like she had just woken from a wonderful dream. She was relaxed and…happy. The peril of the ship and Sulu's predicament faded from her mind, like clouds in the wind. Everything was so peaceful and an overwhelming contentment filled her being and her mind. It was so simple now. Everything was so simple.

_Peace. Harmony. Contentment. Tranquility. It is the will of Landru._

"Sulu! Kes! Where are you going?"

Like a crow's caw, Nurse Chapel's voice broke through the haze in Kes' mind. Without realizing it, Kes and Sulu had joined hands and were almost to the door of sickbay. It stood open for them.

"Come on, Sulu, back to bed. Dr. McCoy said you were not to leave sickbay." Christine dragged the navigator away from the door. Shaking her head like she was clearing it of water, Kes followed.

"What happened, Kes? For a second there, you looked just like Sulu." The nurse, having secured Sulu, turned and gazed at Kes, her eyes full of concern.

"I _was_ like Sulu," Kes answered softly. "For a moment…I heard the call of Landru."

…

She awoke when she felt a tap on her shoulder. When she looked up, Sulu was sitting up and, from the look on his face, very confused.

"Why am I in sickbay, Kes?"

Kes' face lit up. "You're better!" She hugged the Asian tightly, and he patted her back awkwardly, but finally she pulled away.

"How do you feel?"

Sulu frowned. "I feel fine. Where's Dr. McCoy?"

"Not here right now, but Nurse Chapel is. Just a second-Christine! He's awake!" Kes called into the other room. Christine rushed in, and at the sight of Sulu sitting up looking aware, her face broke into a radiant smile.

"Sulu! Oh, we were so worried! When Dr. McCoy comes back up, he'll be so happy to see you're better."

"What happened?"

Kes shared a look with Chapel. "Maybe Dr. McCoy could explain," said the nurse.

"No, I'll explain." Kes launched into the account, how Sulu and O'Neil had been trapped on the surface, and about Kirk and the landing party, the heat rays that had threatened the ship, and Landru.

Sulu nodded. "I remember now. The happiness and tranquility…but it didn't really come from somewhere, it just was there. It didn't have meaning. Kinda empty, you know?"

"Yes, I know." She explained how she had been in brief contact with Landru and all the people down below. She didn't mention O'Neil or McCoy.

"You mean you could hear Landru calling to you?"

"Yes. You and I were nearly out the door to go join him before Nurse Chapel stopped us."

"Wow," whistled Sulu. "That's quite a tale there."

"Excuse me, miss, but could I haf a word with Sulu alone?" Kes smiled at Chekov's voice.

"Yes, Ensign, you may. I have duty in a few minutes. I'm glad you're back, Sulu."

She walked out the door to the back room and looked for Nurse Chapel, who had sneaked away while Kes filled Sulu in. She looked in all the rooms, and she noticed a light on in McCoy's office.

"Christine?"

"I believe you'll find her shift ended ten minutes ago. How can I help you today?"

Kes whipped around. "Doctor! Are you ok?"

McCoy's brow furrowed. "Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Landru…he…."

His eyes widened, then narrowed. "How do you know about that?"

She repeated what she had told Chapel, about her telepathic communication with Landru.

"I heard your voice with his, and Sulu's and O'Neil's and many more. I was so worried," she whispered. She had to resist the urge to hug him or even touch his hand. It was like he had gone and was back from the grave. The events of the last 12 hours-Sulu going under, finding out McCoy had gone too, the ship in danger, her contact with Landru-weighed down on her shoulders. She lifted her eyes to meet the doctor's, and to her surprise his eyes were slightly misty.

"Come 'ere, darlin," he said, holding open his arms. Kes gave him a light hug, then quickly broke away.

"Oh, come on. I thought you were worried about me," he teased. He pulled her close and squeezed tight. They stayed like that for a few moments.

"I'm glad you're back, doctor," she muttered into his shirt.

"I am too, Kes," he whispered back. "I am too."


	10. City On the Edge of Forever

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

_The floor beneath her shook violently and she had to hold on to a console to regain her balance. Sulu was in the chair beside her, in his usual navigator's position. Spock, at the science station across the bridge, turned, presumably to inform the captain about the tremors that were rocking the ship. However, though his lips were moving, she couldn't hear a single word coming out of his mouth. The entire bridge was silent. She could see lights blinking and she felt the ship rock again. She even saw Sulu turn slightly to address Kirk, but again, no sound came out. Another wave must have been coming in, because everyone clutched tight to something._

_Like she was moving through water, Kes walked forward to get in front of Sulu at his station. She shoved him out of the chair and away from the console. She knew he was in danger if he stayed at the helm for a few seconds longer. _

_But a sharp tingling sensation itched at the tip of her fingers and started to spread up her arm. Then a blast of sensation so painful she almost cried out surged through her body. As the pain reached her torso, she felt her heart race quickly, and then, pulse by pulse, it slowed to a halt._

_She had been electrocuted._

_As the piercing pain left her, she saw the bridge spin quickly upward as she collapsed on the floor. Oddly enough, she knew that she was dead, but her eyes refused to close. She was still aware of everything around her, like Scotty rushing to her side, picking her up and clutching her to his chest. She saw Kirk quickly call for help, still silent as stone. She saw Sulu join Scotty at her side. Even Uhura leapt from her chair and got as far as the captain's seat before stopping, her eyes brimming with tears. Kes felt everything: Scotty's tight embrace and soft caress, Sulu's hand in hers, the hard floor beneath her limp body._

_She saw the turbolift doors open to reveal McCoy. He rushed to her, shooing Sulu away to give him room. He checked a hyprospray, and once satisfied, injected her neck. _

_Cordrozine._

_Kirk hovered over his shoulder, his face panicked as he said something to the doctor. But McCoy watched her patiently as she blinked her eyes. She was alive, saved by McCoy's quick action. The worried looks of those around her were transformed to relief. The doctor's lips mouthed her name and softly brushed some hair from her eyes. She smiled up at him as the realization that she was alive again fully dawned in her mind. His face brightened at her smile, and his hand rested on her shoulder as he checked his hypospray._

_Scotty helped her to her feet and the bridge crew returned to the task at hand. Spock turned and said something else, but McCoy was still checking his hypo. It was like slow motion when another shock wave hit the ship and the CMO injected himself with 100 doses' worth of cordrozine._

_And slowly, like the dial on an old-style Earth radio, the sound that should have been in the dream came flooding back: the beeps of the consoles, the hiss of the smoke from Sulu's station, now broken, Kirk's cry when he realized his friend was in trouble, the ship as the shock wave dissipated._

_McCoy jerked up, his face sweaty and pale. _

"_Kes, wake up! Come on, honey, don't make me shock you with anything, wake up!"_

Reality came crashing down, scattering the dream like a bullet through glass. She opened her eyes and looked straight into a pair of light blue irises.

"I've been tryin' to wake you for the past five minutes, Kes. I was about to declare a medical emergency and rush you to sickbay," said McCoy, his tone laced with worry. "You were due for your shift an hour ago, and when you didn't show up, Steinburg called me."

Kes squeezed her eyes shut and tried to calm her breathing. She felt the bed sink and a hand placed to her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes.

"You look terrible," McCoy growled. "This may be nothing, but I want to be sure you're ok. Let's go to sickbay and check you out."

She nodded and tried to get up, but she was so entangled in the covers she could hardly move. Chuckling, he helped her to free herself of the web of blanket she was caught in. When they finally managed to get her free, she stumbled over to her dresser to get a uniform.

"Don't bother about getting changed. You can come back after I've checked you out."

Rubbing her eyes, Kes followed him in a half-awake state to sickbay and, at his request, sat on a biobed and laid down.

"Let's see now…everything seems normal except your serotonin levels. They're up to 40% above normal now." He looked down at her. "You said 60 was the safety maximum, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's odd, but I can't find anything wrong with you. But I gotta ask," he said, looking into her eyes. "What were you dreaming about?"

Kes frowned. She didn't want to discuss this with McCoy at the moment, but she felt like it was important that he know. So, slowly and carefully, she described the dream to him, about being electrocuted and the accident that occurred afterward.

"It didn't feel like a dream, doctor. It was almost…precognitive, I guess I should say."

McCoy's eyebrow twitched upward. "Precognitive, huh? You are full of surprises, Ensign. In any case, the captain should be informed. I'll make a report and get it to him, today if at all possible." He smiled. "Get changed and get to work, I'm sure Steinburg is worried sick about you."

Kes gave him a wry smile. "I'll do that doctor. Just promise me you'll be careful around those hypos, ok?"

McCoy laughed. "Of that you can be perfectly assured."

With one last nod and a smile, Kes left sickbay.

…

It was happening. Everything was falling into place: the noises, the tremors, the things people were saying. It all corresponded with her dream.

"The helm is sluggish," Sulu said as the ship rocked back and forth. That triggered something in Kes' memories.

"Sulu!"

She shoved him away from the console and just like in the dream, she felt the agony of the electricity as it coursed through her body. Her world spun upward again, and she ceased to feel.

"Kes!" Scotty, realizing what had happened, rushed with Sulu to support her. Her head rested in Scotty's lap until McCoy could reach the bridge. She felt her heartbeat return and she opened her eyes, straight into the CMO's eyes.

"Déjà vu," he muttered as he brushed her hair away from her face.

"Put away that hypo before someone gets hurt, doctor," Kes replied. McCoy nodded and didn't even bother to check the hypo as he put it back in his kit. Scotty and Sulu hauled Kes to her feet, but neither seemed to want to let go.

"You saved my life," Sulu muttered gratefully. Scotty sat at the helm and tried to fix the broken machinery, but every few seconds his glance would stray to her, as if he was scared she would collapse.

"Kes, I'd like to take you down to sickbay to make sure you're alright," McCoy said as the ship rocked and shook again. She nodded and followed him into the turbolift. He ordered for sickbay and the lift descended, but he stopped it after a few seconds. He turned to her.

"Kes," he said, looking first at the floor and then at her, "I just want to thank you. Not only did you save Sulu at the cost of your safety, you saved me too."

Kes smiled. "It's the least I could have done. It was my privilege to be of service today. But really," she said, her tone more serious. "I'm glad you're all right."

He turned away, smiling slightly, but his expression changed when Kes kissed his cheek. At first he was shocked, but the smile returned when he looked back at her.

"Don't give too many of those away now, or all the men on this ship will go crazy over you," he teased. "And I'll be the one mending all those broken hearts."

Kes laughed aloud. McCoy pulled the lever to make the turbolift move again, and soon they were sitting in sickbay.

"Well, darlin', you're fine. But take the day off, ok? Doctor's orders. You deserve it after what happened today."

Kes smiled and was almost out the door when she turned back to McCoy.

"I really am glad you're ok. You're one of the finest friends I've ever had, and I would hate to lose someone like you."

She swore that he was blushing, but he hid it well. His eyes softened.

"Get some rest, Ensign. I'll see you around."

And when the room was empty, he whispered after her, "I would hate to lose you too, Kes. If only you knew."


	11. Amok Time

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"What is this?" Kes turned around at Spock's angry tone and Christine's scream. "If I wanted anything from you, I'd ask for it!"

Spock confronted Nurse Chapel outside his quarters, in plain view of the captain and Dr. McCoy. And something was definitely wrong with Spock.

"Captain, I would like to request a leave of absence, on my home planet. On our present course, we could divert to Vulcan with a loss of but 2.8 light days."

"Spock, what is this all about?" asked Kirk softly.

"I have made my request, captain. All that I require from you is that you answer it, yes or no!" When Kirk moved closer, Spock retreated into his room and the door shut on the captain.

She remembered treating B'Ellana's superficial wounds a year ago. Vorik, a young Vulcan about Spock's age, maybe younger, was arguing profusely with the doctor about treatment. He was agitated, rude and very unlike the disciplined calm creatures that Vulcans usually are. B'Ellana had complained to Tom later in the mess hall, and Kes had overheard their conversation.

"Some freaky Vulcan mating thing. That stupid _pa'tak _thought I'd actually marry him? I wanted to do more than break his nose…."

"Dr. McCoy!"

"Ensign," the doctor said with a smile, but in an offhand manner. He was obviously concentrating on Spock.

"Doctor, I think I know what's wrong with Spock. I knew two Vulcans in past years, and I've seen this before."

"What's wrong with him, then?" Kirk asked, his attention focused on the Ocampan.

"Let's not discuss this here."

…

"So all you're telling me is that you won't say exactly what's wrong with Spock, only that he should be granted leave time, because it's a matter of life or death?"

"Yes, captain, I can't tell you more without encroaching upon Spock's privacy. This is his affair, not mine or yours. Besides, I don't know much more about it anyway."

McCoy shook his head. "Just like Spock…."he muttered.

"Even if we were to divert to Vulcan, how could we explain to Starfleet why we showed up late? Doctor? Ensign?"

"Tell them Spock has an illness that only Vulcans can cure. In essence it's the truth, so you're not really lying. Mention that it's a matter of life or death, which is also true; if Spock doesn't get to Vulcan, he will die."

Kirk mused.

"That just might work, Jim."

"If I could, sir, I'll go talk to Mr. Spock. I think I can get through to him, on more than one level."

…

"It is entirely inappropriate for you to be here, Ensign."

"Why not? I'm probably the only one on board who knows what you're going through, who knows how you feel."

His eyes narrowed. "You know? You couldn't, you're an outsider!"

"When you spend time around Vulcans," Kes continued, unfazed, "you learn a thing or two."

Spock smirked. "You claim to know how I feel, but you could not possibly understand."

"So you say," pressed Kes. "But I'll have you know that two Vulcans resided on a ship I served on. One went through the same thing you're going through right now, far from Vulcan and far from his mate. And yet he survived."

"It is undignified, inappropriate. And no, I am not convinced you know how I feel."

"No? Ok, how about this: a year ago, circumstances beyond my control pushed me into the biological mating stage of my species and I grew reproductive organs in a matter of hours. It was so painful and embarrassing that I locked myself in the doctor's office and refused to come out until the captain came down to sickbay to order me out. Now this stage is the only time in my life when I could have a child. It was then or never, and I missed my chance."

Spock stared at her in wonder.

"I know what it's like to be thrust into situations that are scary and uncomfortable. I was the equivalent of 19, Spock. So yes, you're right, I cannot know fully what you are going through right now. But I'm the closest you've got. By the way, the doctor later informed me that it was a false alarm and that I can conceive a child again if I wish."

"Why did you come here?" Spock asked heavily.

"To tell you that I'm fairly certain that we will head to Vulcan. No delays this time."

Spock looked noticeably relieved at this news. "Thank you, Ensign. But please, leave."

Kes nodded and exited his quarters.


	12. Who Mourns for Adonais, Part 1

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Take this report up to Dr. McCoy on the bridge, and be careful!"

Kes grabbed the PADD from Steinburg's hands and rushed to the turbolift. But about halfway up, she felt a pain in her ears, pressure building steadily. She clawed at her ears and screwed up her face, to no effect. Finally, the pressure ended and the turbolift doors opened.

"That was your first lesson. Remember it."

The image of a man with leaves around his head was shown on the screen. And he caught sight of her when she stepped onto the bridge, and his deep voice echoed when he said,

"And what wood nymph is this who comes hither? Whence came you, elfin maiden? It has been long since I have seen your kind."

Everyone turned to glance at Kes. Kirk shook his head at her, then turned back to the man.

"She is a member of my crew."

"Bring her and your officers to dine with me. But do not bring the dark-haired one with the pointed ears. He reminds me of Pan, and Pan always bored me. No sad faces. For now is a time to rejoice!"

…

Captain Kirk, Scotty, McCoy, Chekov, Lt. Bentley, and Kes beamed down to a small glade in front of a temple.

"What am I doing down here, doctor?" asked Bentley.

"Well, you're an A and A officer, aren't you? Anthropology and Ancient Civilizations, and we're going to need help in both of those areas, Jack."

On a throne in an open-faced, columned temple sat the man. Golden metal laurel leaves sat in his hair, and he wore a golden toga and sandals.

"My children! Long have I waited for this moment. The memories you bring of your Earth, green fields and blue skies, the simple shepherds and their flocks."

"You know of Earth? You've been there?" asked Kirk.

"Once, I stretched out my hand," said the man, "and Earth trembled. And I breathed upon it, and spring returned."

"You mentioned Agamemnon, Hector, Odysseus. How do you know about them?"

"Search your most distant memories, those of the thousands of years past, and I am there. Your fathers knew me, and your fathers' fathers." The man stood tall and straight. "I am Apollo!"

"And I am the czar of all the Russians!"exclaimed Chekov, and Kes smiled.

"Mr. Chekov," Kirk warned.

"I'm sorry, keptain. I've never met a god before."

"And you haven't yet. Readings, doctor."

"Simple humanoid, captain."

"Apparently not so simple."

"Earth," Apollo said, walking towards Kes. "Mother of the most beautiful women in the universe. I had thought your kind had died long ago, but it gladdens my heart to see you here. I am pleased."

Turning to the others, he continued. "Yes, my children, Zeus, Athena, Aphrodite, Artemis, a gallant band of travelers. We knew your Earth well, five thousand of your years ago."

"All right," said Kirk. "We're here at your invitation. Do you mind telling us what you want without all the Olympian mumbo-jumbo?"

"You will not leave this place," said Apollo calmly.

Kirk stared at him, then got out his communicator. "Transporter room."

"Your transportation device no longer functions," said Apollo.

"Enterprise, come in."

"I will not allow that device to work either, captain."

Kirk slammed the top down angrily. "What is it you want?"

"You will worship me, as your fathers did before you."

Kirk shook his head. "You want to play god and call yourself Apollo, that's your business. But you're no god to us, mister!"

"I said you would worship me!"

"Then you've got a lot to learn!"

"And so have you!" shouted Apollo. "Let the lesson begin!"

And slowly, he grew, taller than the temple, so high the trees must have seemed like twigs to him.

"Welcome to Olympus, Captain Kirk," he announced.

But even as he looked down upon them with arrogance and pride, he faltered, bowing his head in pain or weariness. He disappeared like smoke on the wind.

The party rushed toward the now-empty temple. "Analysis," said Kirk.

Bentley reeled off information about Apollo and said the references and appearance of the temple was correct. McCoy gave a short medical report; he wasn't sure what Apollo was, other than a humanoid. Chekov said Apollo was commanding a large amount of energy.

Kirk ordered everyone to fan out. Kes and Scotty headed toward a table in the middle of the space in front of the temple.

"What do you think about all this, Ensign?"

"I've met more powerful gods than this, Scotty."

He raised his eyebrows. "You've met a god before?"

"Ok, more like omnipotent and powerful-look!"

Apollo had returned, and he gestured for them to come closer.

"I want from you that which is rightfully mine: your loyalty, your tribute and your worship."

"May I ask what you offer in exchange for this worship?" questioned McCoy.

"Life in paradise, as simple and as pleasureful as it was those thousands of years ago on that beautiful planet so far away."

"Apollo," sighed Kirk. "We're willing to talk…but you'll find we don't bow to every creature who happens to have a bag of tricks."

"Agamemnon was one such as you, and Hercules. Pride and arrogance. They defied me, until they felt my wrath."

"I would like to point out that we are quite capable of some wrath ourselves," commented Scotty.

"I have 430 people in that ship up there-"started Kirk.

"No you do not, captain. They are mine, to save, to cherish, or to destroy at my will."

"But why?" interrupted Kes. "What you've said so far contradicts itself. You've waited 5,000 years for us and you threaten to destroy us. You claim us as children and yet you don't have the will to let us be free?"

Apollo's hard expression softened as he looked at her. He descended the steps and stood in front of her.

"How like Aphrodite and Athena. Beauty, grace. And you seem wise for a woman." His hand lifted her chin. "What is your name?"

"Kes," she replied.

"Kes," he said softly. "Yes…you are beautiful, like the wood nymphs and water maidens of old. You would do Aphrodite credit. I am pleased. I will tell you a thousand tales, stories of courage and love. You will know what is it to be a goddess."

Kes frowned. "I'm no goddess, Apollo."

"But you will be," he replied with a smile.

"Leave her alone!" cried Scotty, and McCoy nodded fiercely in agreement.

"You protest? You risk much."

"And so do you!" shouted McCoy, and Scotty pulled out his phaser. But with a wave of Apollo's hand, Scotty doubled in pain, and McCoy collapsed. Kes backed away at first, but when the god turned to her again, she shook her head and walked over to her comrades.

"If you're trying to win my affection, hurting my friends is certainly not the way to do it."

Scotty stood straight clutching his hand. Kes took it in hers and examined it. But Scotty nodded to McCoy on the ground, and Kes knelt beside him. He sat up, groaning and rubbing his temples.

"You ok, doctor?"

"I'll be fine, Kes."

"Sir, the phasers," said Chekov, joining them, "all the working parts are fused."

"None of your toys will function." He turned to Kes, who stared back at him with a defiant look on her face.

"Yes, you are a beauty. So like Artemis in your fierce determination, your wildness. But like her, the bow arm should be bare."

With a wave of his hand, her clothing changed from her blue uniform to a midnight-blue toga with strings of silver. Her hair had been growing again over the last few months, and now it tumbled unbound down her bare back, strung with laurel leaves. She had to admit, she felt beautiful, and she could tell her assumption was right, because the men were all staring at her, especially McCoy and Scotty.

When Apollo approached her and offered his hand, she glanced at Kirk, and he nodded. She took his hand and threw an apologetic look at the doctor and chief engineer.

"She's not going with you!" cried Scotty, and he rushed at Apollo. But he sent Scotty flying back like he had delivered a punch. Kes wrenched her hand from his and stepped toward her friend. But McCoy seemed to have the situation under control. She turned back to Apollo with defiance.

"I will go with you because my captain says to. I do not go because I care one inkling for you, and I don't like what you've done to my friends. Let's go."

She saw Kirk come forward, but he stopped and nodded in resignation.

Apollo offered her hand again. "Attend me."

Sighing, she took his hand and stepped with him across a threshold to elsewhere.

Kirk turned back to Scotty, who was stirring.

"I don't think it's wise to let her go off with him like that," said McCoy.

"He would have been rather difficult to stop," Kirk replied.

"Angry one minute, benevolent the next. One wrong move from her and he could kill her!" McCoy exclaimed.

"Kes is a smart girl, she'll be all right."

Scotty moaned as he came around. "How do you feel?" asked Kirk.

"I've got tinglin' all over…did he take her with him?"

"Seems so."

"Scotty, I don't like it anymore than you do, after all, she's in my department. But that girl learns like I have never seen, and she has powers we can't even imagine," said McCoy, before Scotty could say more.

"So she'll be just fine, as long as she plays her cards right. And I don't want any more unauthorized action against Apollo. Is that clear, gentlemen?"

Scotty faced Kirk. "Aye, sir."

"Bones?"

"Aye, sir," he sighed.

"Good. Now scout around with your tricorder and try to find the source of his power."


	13. Who Mourns for Adonais, Part 2

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"It's lovely," Kes remarked, looking over the water at the trees and distant mountains.

"Just as you are lovely," Apollo muttered.

"That's nice, but I'm here to find out more about you," Kes insisted, turning toward him. "Tell me about yourself and the others you mentioned."

Apollo explained some of his deeds, and the basics of Greek mythology, in his eyes, truth.

"I knew many women, Daphne, Cassandra…none more beautiful than you, my strange little wood nymph."

Kes laughed in spite of herself. "Yes, I do suppose I look elf-like. But that doesn't make me a wood nymph. My home planet is barren waste."

Apollo frowned. "You are not from Earth?"

"No, my home is very far from here, farther than Earth is far."

Apollo stood in silence.

"Let me go back to them, my friends," Kes said.

"Only if you return."

"I will."

…

"Captain, look!"

Kes strode out of the threshold back into the temple area. The men stood and she approached them.

"I promised him I would come back. But I do have some information on him you may find useful."

She retold what Apollo had told her about the ancient Greek gods and where they came from.

"Good work, Ensign. We're working on a plan to defeat Apollo and get out of here. And we need your help."

"Just tell me what I need to do, sir."

…

"Approach me."

"We're busy!"

"I said approach me! You will gather laurel leaves, light the ancient fires, kill a deer!"

Kirk and the other four scattered, approaching the temple and laughing in Apollo's face. Seeing her cue, Kes joined them and hung behind McCoy. Though his eyes were not on her, his hand keep hold of her arm, and he pushed her slightly behind him.

Apollo looked shocked at the defiance before him, but shock turned to anger, and soon Kirk was standing in front of the god, inviting death. Kes tore herself from McCoy's grip.

"If you touch him, I swear you will pay. If you touch any of them, you will regret the day you laid eyes on me, Apollo," growled Kes, inserting herself between him and Kirk.

Apollo slowly lowered his arm. "I do not wish to harm you, Kes. I will be lenient with him, for your sake."

"No! That's not good enough! Let us leave."

Apollo frowned. "Very like the nymphs you are, you humans. Loving freedom more than safety, adventure more than rest and happiness. Forever looking to fill the hole of curiosity within yourselves."

"We've outgrown you, Apollo. Let us go," Kirk pressed.

Apollo sat down, his face unreadable. Kes turned to go back to her place.

"Mortals! You have earned my wrath and you will pay!"

To her horror, she saw McCoy blasted with electricity. She turned back to Apollo.

"You see now that you should fear me, Kes," Apollo said sternly. "I said I could destroy you in an instant, and you will reap the rewards of your insolence."

He disappeared.

Kes rushed to McCoy's side, grabbing the kit from Chekov. She ran a scanner over him.

"No…." She threw down the equipment and placed her hand over his heart. She felt nothing. There was no heartbeat.

"No!" She quickly rifled through the doctor's medical supply until she found what she was looking for. She checked the amount and carefully injected him. For a few seconds, nothing happened.

"Well?" said Scotty.

McCoy gasped as life returned to his body. Panting, he tried to sit up, but Kes kept him down.

Kirk let out a breath. Looking down to McCoy, who was still lying on the ground, he smiled.

"Welcome back, Bones. Please…don't ever do that again, all right?"

"Aye, sir." Kes finally let McCoy up, and she shifted into a sitting position beside him, supporting his back.

"_Enterprise_ to Captain Kirk. Captain Kirk, come in please."

Kirk walked away a short distance, and the others followed, but Kes and McCoy stayed by the steps of the temple.

"That's the second time you've saved my life, Ensign. But I hope I never get to repay you."

Kes smiled. "Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"Don't ever do that again."

McCoy smiled. "It's good that you're as quick with the hypos as you are with a smile. I want you working for me in sickbay. A doctor could use a woman like you as his nurse."

Kes grinned. "You really mean that?"

"Well, it's up to you. But you handled that well. And I do tell the truth when I say I could use a woman like you in sickbay. Your attitude, your skill, your amazing learning capabilities, we could use them all. So what do you say?"

Kes was stunned. "I don't know, doctor. I mean, I'd love to work in sickbay, put I really like the job I have now…I'll think about it."

McCoy opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a roar of thunder and the flash of lightning.

"What in the devil? Jim!"

"Come on, you two, Spock's going to shoot this thing down any second now."

Kes sprinted with the others to some bushes to hide behind. Kes heard the phaser fire above her as the _Enterprise _destroyed the temple. And she heard Apollo's voice as he saw what they were doing.

"Stop!" Lightning shot from his fingertips.

"Stop!" More lightning.

"Stop!"

But the temple was destroyed, Apollo defeated. When the phasers ceased and the landing party emerged again, the god looked at them, his face full of sorrow.

"I would have cherished you, like a father does his children. You would have been happy. Now look what you've done."

His eyes found Kes.

"I could not tame your wild spirit, nor did I wish to. You would have been a goddess, a mother of a race of immortal gods. I would have loved you."

Kes turned away.

"Zeus! Aphrodite! You were right! Hera, you were right! Mankind has no need for gods! You were right."

And Apollo called to the winds and to his brethren to take him, and they obeyed.


	14. A Change of Rank

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Ensign Kes, come with me, please."

She looked up from her work in surprise. Steinburg never addressed her by rank.

"Yes, sir."

She followed him out of the lab, down the hall, and into the turbolift.

"Where are we going?"

The lieutenant only glanced at her, silent.

"I haven't done anything wrong, have I?"

Steinburg raised an eyebrow. "Guilty conscience?"

"No, my conscience is only checking."

They got off on Deck 2. She followed him to Briefing Room A, and he halted in front of it.

"You ready?" he asked, turning to her.

"No. How can I prepare for a mystery?"

Steinburg smiled. "That's my girl." He pressed the button. The room was completely dark.

Suddenly everything came together in her mind. Steinburg was probably trying to freak her out, and any minute people would be popping out from behind tables shouting 'Surprise!' She faced him.

"What's the occasion?"

"Step in and find out."

Kes sighed and stepped into the room with her arms folded.

"Computer, lights!"

The lights came on at Kirk's command and Kes saw a banner that read 'Happy Promotion!' She grinned and turned back to Steinburg, who was chuckling in the doorway.

"Really?"

"Yes, darlin', I told you so." Kes whipped around at McCoy's voice.

"Oh, doctor, I had no idea!" She felt tears well up in her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. Kirk stepped forward with a folded cloth in his hands.

"Ensign."

"Sir," she replied respectfully. McCoy left her side to stand behind the captain.

"Due to your outstanding performance aboard the _Enterprise _in the last few months, your determination, your enthusiasm, and your dedication to this crew, I hereby grant you the rank of Lieutenant, Junior Grade."

He handed her the cloth with a smile. "Congratulations, Kes. You deserve this."

The small assembly clapped and cheered. Scotty and McCoy hung back as others came forward to shake her hand. Finally, as the crowd dwindled, it was only the captain, Steinburg, McCoy and Scotty. The captain approached her first.

"Mr. Spock sends his apologies, he's on the bridge."

"I understand. Someone's got to run this ship while the captain attends rank parties."

Kirk laughed and lightly clapped her shoulder. "Good work, Lieutenant."

Steinburg was next. "I've got to get back to the lab, Kes. See you in a few?"

"I'll be back, don't worry."

He left, and Scotty took his place. "You've made us proud, lass. Join me for lunch tomorrow, to celebrate?"

"I'd love to, Scotty, I'll be there."

He nodded and exited. Only her and the doctor. He picked up a PADD from the conference table and handed it to her.

"What's this?"

"A proposal. One I hope you accept."

Kes read the PADD.

_Proposal that Lt. Kes will continue duty in medical labs under Lt. Steinburg, but work in sickbay on an as-needed basis._

Kes looked up. "As-needed?"

"That'd only be in emergencies or when we're really bogged down with patients. I'll call you in the lab when you're needed. You'll have to attend medical orientation this week though."

"So I'd be an Emergency Medical Personnel?"

"Yes, in essence. How 'bout it?"

Kes looked up and grinned widely. "I'd love to. I accept."

He returned her smile. "Excellent. Welcome to sickbay, Lieutenant. And congratulations. I'm so proud of you, honey. I can't wait to see what you come up with next."

With a light kiss on the forehead, he left her with her thoughts spinning, her eyes pricked with tears and the ghost of his lips on her skin.


	15. In That Dark Wood

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Lt. Kes, report to transporter room for medical survey."

"Acknowledged."

Kes smiled to herself as she stood alone in the turbolift. This planet was uninhabited by intelligent life as they knew it, and they were considering it as a possible shore leave planet. However, nothing was certain, and they had need of medical personnel on the surface. Kes was beaming down with Chapel and McCoy.

"Hello doctor, Christine. Ready to beam down?"

The doctor chuckled. "I'm excited about this one, lieutenant. I've got a funny feeling that something special is down there."

Kes blinked. "I've got that same feeling. Like someone's calling me down."

"That's the way I feel," said Chapel.

"Well, let's get to it. Energize."

Kes' first sight when she materialized was of an immense jungle, a wall 200 yards away, like a dark fortress of the night. Kes gasped at the beauty of it. They were standing on a low plateau plain, surrounded by long grasses, shrubs and the occasional small tree.

"It reminds me of Africa on Earth."

"Agreed, Ms. Chapel. Look, there's our group!"

The trio headed to a group of security and science officers in the distance. Some were examining plants, others, the atmosphere. Some were preparing to go into the woods.

"Hey doc!" called Sulu. "We need one of you on our trek into that jungle."

"I'll go," offered Kes. Sulu smiled, and the others seemed eager to have her in their group. They set off across the plains, half-wading through the long grass.

"Maybe this area isn't ideal for shore leave. It's kinda hard to get around, ya know."

"Yeah, but we've got eleven teams down here. There are other places on this planet, and we're in this one," said one of the science officers.

They reached the jungle and everyone but Kes and Sulu plunged in. She felt like something was calling to her, in the shadows of that dark wood.

_Nga u-kai nsh itori we nqi…._

Kes stopped dead.

"Something wrong?"

Kes shook her head. It was only the wind whistling around her.

"Come on, or we'll lose the others."

She nodded and followed Sulu. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was a greeting of some sort.

_Come to the twilight world..._

...

As she stared at the yawning maw of the cave, she felt the ominous feeling that had been growing in the back of her mind amplified by the darkness. It beckoned to her, its dark summons in that strange tongue swirling around her head like smoke. An eerie cry broke the silence, and Kes spun around.

_Only a bird._

She turned back to the cave. She almost swore she heard beating drums in the depths of the cave, their pounding rhythm calling from the twilit cave.

_A-nga kai sileqe-itori…._

_Come to us, twilight-daughter…._

She felt her legs move forward, but her mind was focused on the words swirling in her head. She felt dizzy, but she didn't even notice her entrance into the cave, nor the fact she was alone.

_Nyipe eshiwe, li-chuktul riswe, a-nga skelu…._

_Born in night, cut from sun, come to darkness…._

The pulse of the call coursed through her like alcohol, inhibiting her senses. She didn't notice the darkness or the feel of wet stone when she unconsciously steadied herself as she dove deeper into the cave.

…

"Dr. McCoy, this is Sulu. We've lost Kes. Repeat. One of our members is missing."

"What? What happened?"

"One minute she was walking next to me and the next she disappeared."

"I'll call the _Enterprise _and tell the captain and Scotty; maybe they can locate her and direct you to her. In the meantime, backtrack and try to find any holes or caves or things that she might have fallen into. We've got to find her before dark, or else we've got wild animals to deal with!"

"Understood. Sulu out."

…

_Nyipe eshiwe, li-chuktul riswe, a-nga skelu niri._

_Born in night, cut from sun, come to darkness again._

The chant pounded in her head, filling her senses and blocking all other thought. Louder and louder it grew, hurting her eardrums even though it was coming from inside her head. Pounding, starting to cause a severe headache. She clasped her hands over her ears and willed it to stop.

Then, it ceased.

Kes looked around like she had awoken from a dream. Maybe she was still dreaming. She was in a circular stone room that glimmered with an eerie blue light. Symbols were carved into the wall, and they glowed, as if sandstone or some other rock had covered a layer of a luminescent mineral. Up to the ceiling they danced and writhed, strange and dreamlike in form.

She was kneeling in the middle of the chamber, facing a glowing monument of some sort. It was of two beings, one a large tiger-like creature, the other, a creature with a long fishtail, but its head resembled that of a bird. They were back to back, entwined about each other. Kes gazed at the beauty and strength of it, carved of the same rock hidden by the sandstone. It was larger than life, and Kes felt a tear roll down her cheek as she took in the full scale of this monument.

But her reverie was broken by a low growl. It seemed to come from all directions, but Kes felt something in front of her, at the foot of the statue.

Out of the shadows slinked a tiger-like animal, the same as portrayed in the monument. Only its fur was a deep red, and its eyes glowed silver.

_Kilra-sai, sileqe-itori. Well-met, twilight-daughter._

Telepaths. And this creature was female. The tigress padded up to her and touched noses, but Kes didn't flinch; she understood that this was their normal greeting.

_What do you call yourself? _the tigress asked.

_Kes._

_Well-met, Kes. I am Uliqe-I-Reshwe, leader of the Ngashi. We have not seen any like you. We are a metamorphic race, but this is our preferred state of being. You are with others?_

_Yes, we came on a survey mission of this planet. If you do not want us here, we will gladly leave._

_No, you may stay. You have posed no threat to us. Tell me: are all of your kind telepaths?_

_All my kind are, but I am not human. Humans are the ones outside. They are my friends._

_You are different…it does not matter to us. Humans will never find our home so deep in these caves._

_I will tell them not to come._

_Wait…I would like to meet these humans. Could you return with one or two? We have never met one before, and like you, we are curious._

_Humans are not telepathic. Do you want me to mediate?_

_They are not telepathic? How do they communicate?_

"Like this," Kes said, her voice echoing around the chamber. The tigress flinched.

_Such crude means of communicating. I like our way better. Understanding comes easier when the minds are linked._

_I agree. You mentioned you were metamorphic. What about the creature with the tiger?_

_Tiger?_

_A creature on the human's home planet that looks somewhat like you, but it has orange fur and black markings._

_Orange? Black? Your words are strange._

_Black is the color of my boots. Look._

Her silver eyes did not move from Kes' face. _I still do not understand. What is look?_

Then Kes realized. She was blind.

_You can't see._

_What is see? Your words have no meaning._

_I'm sorry if I confused you; I'll get my people and come back._

_Your people? But they are not of your kind._

_They are still my friends. I will return, I promise._

_Your word is marked, silege-itori. Return in safety._

_How will I know the way? I can't remember coming down here._

_You will know._

With that, Kes turned around to leave, but saw a huge engraving on the wall. It was one of the Ngashi, and around it, more symbols. She exited the chamber.

…

"Readings show she is in your area, 200 feet to your right."

McCoy and Sulu rushed in that direction, guided by Mr. Spock. Soon they saw Kes walking toward them.

"Doctor! Sulu! You won't believe what just happened."

"Where the hell were you? We were worried sick!"

Kes smiled sympathetically and lightly touched the doctor's shoulder. "I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble, but the captain needs to come down here, now."

"Where were you? What happened? One second you're walking next to me, the next you disappear."

She carefully explained the cave and the call of the Ngashi. She described her meeting with Uliqe-I-Reshwe and the chamber hall. McCoy, Sulu and the others listened with wonder.

"Do you realize," started McCoy, "that you probably just made first contact for the Federation?"

"The thought had crossed my mind. She said she had never met my kind or humans before. But that doesn't mean she might not have met others, like Vulcans or someone."

"True. I'll call the captain," said Sulu.

Fifteen minutes later, Kes was leading Kirk, McCoy and Spock into the cave. Like Uliqe said, she knew every inch of the way as if she had walked this path a hundred times. Deeper and deeper they plunged, over narrow stone bridges and down cramped tunnels. Finally they walked through the archway into the glowing blue chamber. Spock took some readings.

"Rifterilicite, captain. A luminescent mineral found on many planets like this."

"Thank you, Spock."

_Yes, a very coarse form of communication. These are your friends?_

_Yes. This is Captain Kirk-_she pointed to the captain. The tigress inclined her head, and Kirk repeated the gesture. _Commander Spock._ She gestured to the science officer. Uliqe flicked her tail.

_He also is not human. He is very…interesting. His thoughts are very logical and organized._

_Yes, the majority of Vulcans are like that._

_It is…refreshing. _

"Uliqe says your logical and organized thought patterns are refreshing, Mr. Spock."

"Really? Tell her I am honored."

Kes relayed the information. _And Dr. McCoy. _She lightly touched his shoulder.

_He is dear to you._

_Yes, he is a good friend._

_I would like to greet them in my own fashion._

"Kneel down and let Uliqe touch your nose with hers. It's their standard greeting."

The three obeyed, and Kes knelt with them. One by one, Uliqe touched noses with them, pausing with her eyes closed at each person. She touched noses briefly with Kes, who she came to last, but then also rubbed her head against her chest. McCoy smiled.

"She's already fond of you, isn't she?"

"Yes, it's meant to convey friendship and warmth. The Ngashi are fast learners, and she approves of all of you, especially the doctor."

McCoy looked pleased. "Well, how about that," he muttered softly.

_I would tell you our history and culture, but that would take too long. Here, look into my eyes and put your hand on my chest._

Kes obeyed, and soon her mind was swimming with information. Faster and faster it came, like a whirlpool of ideas and feelings. When it stopped, Kes had to squeeze her eyes shut to stop the impeding headache.

_I am sorry if our methods have caused you pain._

_I'll be fine. I just need a minute to absorb all this._

_Very well. The Vulcans have a similar technique, do they not?_

_Yes, they do._

_Highly efficient, these Vulcans. I would like to meet more of them._

Kes smiled. "I'm sure that can be arranged." If Uliqe were human, she would be smiling. Kes turned to the others.

"The Ngashi have existed for thousands of years, longer than humans, much longer. They are a metamorphic race, and this is their preferred form, but they have lost a lot of the power that resided in their race long ago. The other form you see in the statue was another favorite, but they have not used that form in ages. In a sense they are dying, but they are sentient, wise, and very old. They do not have a spoken language; rather all their communication is telepathic. My race is also telepathic. That's why I could pick up their call and no one else."

"What about the markings? How could they write them the way they are now? I'm supposing they changed into a form that had opposable thumbs?" asked Kirk.

"Yes, a form that had that and sight. The Ngashi in this state are blind. They know this area well enough to go without sight, and they find others through telepathy. Even though you are not telepathic, she can still pick up impressions from you, so she knows precisely where you are right now."

"Fascinating," said Spock, staring at the walls and at Uliqe. "Their mental capacity must be very great."

"It is. They are highly intelligent, highly intuitive, and curious, like us."

"Well, I think we should contact Starfleet and get a formal delegation down here. I think this first meeting was a success, and I hope many others are like it," said Kirk with a smile.

"Yes, I agree. However, Starfleet needs to include some women in the delegation. They trust women more than men; I think they feel compassion and gentleness more endearing than aggressiveness and force. But that says something about you, Dr. McCoy. She highly approves of your personality. She thinks you are a wonderful model of what men should be like."

McCoy's grin grew wider. "Tell her I'm very pleased and honored that she approves of me."

_The doctor is grateful and honored that you approve of him so much._

_He is very compassionate toward others, and is of a gentle nature, almost feminine in quality; though I'm sure he has his rough moments. If only all men were like him._

_Yes, wouldn't that be wonderful?_

_I'm sure your companions are waiting for you and that these friends are tired. I look forward to meeting your Starfleet. Tell them to include those Vulcans, I would dearly love to meet more of them._

_I'll tell them. I'm sure Spock would be pleased._

"She knows you're probably tired from the long walk. She looks forward to Starfleet's delegation, and she would dearly love to meet more Vulcans. She finds them refreshing."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Indeed, she is quite logical. Highly intelligent creatures, these Ngashi. They have very good taste."

Kes, Kirk and McCoy laughed. Uliqe came forward and nudged Kes.

_What is the sound you are making? It is…intriguing._

_It's called laughter. A release of emotions, good ones._

_It is so pleasant to listen to, the most endearing of your uncouth language. Well met, Kes, silege-itori. And well met to your friends._

_Well met, jelishi-itori, hywe cu-dishen. I learn fast too, twilight queen of the underground halls. Merry part, and good life._

_Merry part and good life. I hope we meet again._

_So do I._

Kes stood and lead the others back out of the cave, out into the sunlight and the open world.


	16. Mirror, Mirror, Part 1

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

She carefully sorted through the old storage closet in sickbay, humming to herself and making piles of old used hyposprays, medical containers, broken PADDs and the like. She had completed the top half and was about to move on to the bottom half when she heard the door whoosh open.

She turned. "Oh, hello doctor. I hope you don't mind me going through all this. I thought it could use a cleaning. Back so soon from the mission?"

McCoy glanced up, obviously oblivious to every word she had said except the last sentence. "Oh, yes. Negotiations didn't go so well…."

She could tell he was preoccupied, so she didn't ask anything further. She turned back to her sorting, but McCoy didn't go anywhere. He stared at her like he had never seen her before in his life, though she didn't see.

"Has anyone told you," he said softly, "that you're beautiful?"

Kes turned back to him, a soft smile growing on her lips. "Thank you," she whispered, but then frowned. Why was the doctor telling her this now? She knew he found her attractive but he had never told her to her face.

"Why are you telling me this now? What happened down there?"

McCoy smiled devilishly. "Nothing, nurse. I just never stopped to notice you before."

Why wasn't he addressing her by name? He always did, or else he supplemented "lieutenant" or "honey" or some other term of endearment. That was his way.

"My name is Kes, doctor, or have you forgotten already?" she said, half-teasing, half-testing. Suspicion was growing in her mind.

"No, I haven't forgotten," he said softly. "Kes." But it was like he had never heard it before and was testing the word on his tongue.

"Doctor, are you sure you're ok?"

He looked surprised, then angry. "I am perfectly fine, Kes. I'm just tired. Stop prying into my personal business!"

Kes flinched. McCoy never took that tone with her, maybe on occasion it was rough, like her recovery from the Tantalus incident, but it was never that angry and…mean. It was so out of character for him to act like he was, forgetting her name, calling her beautiful like he had never seen her before, and being so cross with her. Her sympathy dissolved and was replaced by coldness. Something wasn't right here.

"If you insist, doctor."

She went back to her work, planning an escape to seek out Spock or at least Christine. Something needed to be done, and soon.

She nearly jumped when she felt a hand spin her around. McCoy was holding her shoulders, tightly, forcefully.

"I'm sorry, Kes. I'm just tired, like I said. Forgive me?"

His hands slid down her arms, sending chills down her spine. Then he took both her hands in his and kissed them lightly. His hands slid to the small of her back. She looked up questioningly into his eyes, and then her heart stopped cold.

His eyes looked the same, but something was off. There was no warmth, no compassion, no spark in their depths, only hunger and darkness. Instead of a warm summer's day, she was staring into an icy void. Either something was seriously wrong with him, or this wasn't the doctor. At least not the doctor she knew.

But every thought got jumbled up as her held her tightly to him and kissed her, passionately. His touch would have melted her heart but for the suspicion still gnawing at her brain. Would McCoy ever kiss her like this? In sickbay? It felt good, no, it felt wonderful, but it would have been fantastic if the doctor were in his right mind. Was he drunk? Drugged? Under some sort of manipulation, like she was with Tieran?

He pulled away, savoring every last taste of her lips. Kes panted for breath as his gaze hungrily took in all her features.

"Doctor…this isn't right?"

"Why not? You know you liked it." He leaned close, whispering in her ear, "You know you want more…."

Kes' stomach lurched, but she gently untangled herself from his arms. He looked disappointed.

"I won't lie to you, doctor. That felt wonderful. But sickbay isn't the right place for it. Anyone could walk in on us at any time." She moved closer to him, continuing the charade. "Meet me later in my quarters," she whispered to him.

With one last smile that she hoped was sexy and seductive, she left him alone in sickbay, then ran to the turbolift.

"Bridge."

She just hoped Spock would believe her.


	17. Mirror, Mirror, Part 2

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Lieutenant, may I join you?"

Kes glanced up at Spock. "Yes, sir. Be my guest."

Spock carefully placed his salad down and sat. He steepled his fingers and gazed at her.

"It has been two days since the captain and the others were in the Mirror Universe, and their counterparts in ours. I appreciated your warning about Dr. McCoy; it confirmed my theory."

Kes nodded with a small smile, but looked back at her plate.

"Something is preoccupying you, lieutenant."

She nodded absentmindedly, still not meeting his eyes.

"Do you wish to discuss the matter?"

"No." She had said it more forcefully than was necessary. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I see. It is of a…personal matter. I would not want to intrude."

He stood to leave.

"Spock, wait."

He sat back down, expectant.

"It's about McCoy. Mirror McCoy."

"I see. It is of an uncomfortable nature, then."

"Yes," she said.

"I trust he did not harm you, Kes."

"No, no. It's just…when I see McCoy now, all I can think about is his counterpart and what…what he did. Nothing major, just…discomforting. Am I making sense?"

Spock's eyes showed a glimmer of concern. "Yes. I think I can guess the nature of your encounter, and I will not report this to anyone, not even McCoy. That is your choice to make. Kes."

She looked into his eyes.

"Every wound heals with time. But it is illogical to dwell on what was. It wastes energy and accomplishes nothing, and you should focus your energy on the here and now. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Spock stood to leave. "And lieutenant?"

"Yes?"

"I believe Dr. McCoy would enjoy a visit from you. He sent me here to ask you what was wrong. Good day, lieutenant."

…

"Doctor?"

She was standing at the entrance to his office. He was reading his viewscreen and cross-checking something on a PADD, until he saw her. His eyes lit up and he smiled warmly.

"Hey there, honey. I thought you'd forgotten me. Have a seat."

She sat in a chair across from him. He turned off the viewscreen, put down the PADD and gave her his undivided attention.

"What can I do for you?"

Kes smiled. Mirror McCoy was never that polite or warm toward her. The real McCoy's eyes were glowing with geniality and spirit.

"I came to apologize. I've been avoiding you over the last two days, and I know it's not your fault at all. It was rude and unfair of me to do that to you. I'm sorry."

McCoy frowned. "What happened two days ago?"

Kes' look answered his question.

"You met the other me, didn't you?"

She nodded. "He was…passionate."

McCoy's expression turned to horror. "Oh god, Kes, what did he do?"

"No, no, it's not like that. I escaped before anything major happened. He…."

"What did he do?" McCoy repeated softly.

"He kissed me."

McCoy's eyebrows shot up, but he looked relieved at this information. "That's all?"

"Yes."

"He didn't hurt you or…." He swallowed hard. "Oh god, Kes. I'm so sorry."

"Why? It wasn't your fault. I would have preferred to have been in _your _arms, but…." She blushed and shut her mouth before anything else escaped.

McCoy smiled. "It's alright darlin', I understand what you mean."

"Did you meet Mirror Me?"

McCoy sighed. "Yes, I did. She was…cold, sadistic, cruel and completely unfeeling toward anything or anyone. I prefer you. It's wonderful to be back in such good company."

"I'm glad to have the McCoy I know back. Please accept my apology, doctor. I mean it."

"I already have, lieutenant. What are you doing this evening?"

"Well, I have duty in an hour until 1700, but after that, I haven't made any plans."

"Can I claim you for this evening?"

"If anyone asks, I'm taken. What time?"

"Oh, say 1800. We can eat dinner and talk a little."

"That sounds fantastic. I look forward to it, doctor."

She stood to leave and he stood as well. She smiled.

"Ever the gentleman, aren't we?"

"I try." He put his hand on his shoulder. "Hang in there, sweetheart."

Her smile widened and she found herself examining his eyes.

_They're so expressive, _she thought to herself. _So warm and bright, like a summer day in the sunshine. They're so generous and kind and good. If eyes are gateways to the soul, then his soul is beautiful. Like those eyes…._

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing. Has anyone told you that you have the most beautiful blue eyes in the galaxy?"

He chuckled. "No, can't say anyone has…you are sweet."

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. Kes closed her eyes and smiled, and when he stepped back, she kissed him back.

"Am I the only one getting your sweet kisses, darlin'?" he teased.

"As far as I know, you are."

He grinned. "Then I am one lucky man."

She laughed. "I'll see you later, doctor. 1800 hours."

"I'll be there, Kes."

She nodded and walked from sickbay, a silly little smile plastered to her face.


	18. I, Mudd

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"He's probably terrified of your beads and rattles." Kes walked past an indignant McCoy and an irritated Vulcan. However, Spock made for the turbolift before McCoy could think up a retort.

"What was that all about, doctor?"

McCoy shook his head. "That new crewmember, Norman. He's just…odd."

"How so?" Kes' interest was piqued.

"He never smiles, he never talks about anything but his routine and he won't share his background."

For some reason, Kes' thoughts flew to sickbay on _Voyager_, a lone Borg drone lying on the biobed, in the throes of a seizure.

"You mean he's odd for a normal human."

"Exactly, something that green-blooded hobgoblin failed to recognize."

Kes smiled at McCoy's reference to Spock. The science officer could be trying at times.

"Vulcans improve with age, doctor. Or maybe it's because Spock has to try so hard."

"What do you mean?"

Kes looked around the corridor, but it was deserted; still she stepped closer to him. "I mean he has to keep up a façade with us to feel confident. He's probably had to deal with the human half of himself all his life and he's never belonged anywhere. It's my guess that Starfleet is the only place where he feels accepted, considering we take all types. Am I making sense?"

McCoy looked at her in amazement. "I've never thought of it that way before. Poor Spock."

"I don't think he'd appreciate the sympathy, doctor."

He smiled. "No, I think not. Where are you headed?"

"Sickbay."

He nodded. "Walk with me?" He offered his arm, and Kes accepted it.

"You know," he said when they were in the turbolift, "Apollo was right. You are wise, and you're one hell of a woman."

Kes laughed. "Don't make me kiss you, doctor."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh, is that what happens when I keep this up? I should try it more often."

She went ahead and kissed him on the cheek anyway.

"What do you say to dinner tonight?" he drawled softly.

"Round 2 of the medical debate? You're on, doctor."

"Excellent."

…

Dinner that night was perforated with tension from the day's highjacking, but Kes and McCoy tried to keep it light.

"You're saying you cured someone with telekinesis?"

Kes smiled, and he continued. "I wish you had been down in sickbay when Spock was attacked on Deneva. That sure would have come in handy."

"Well, my powers…they turn on and off. Telepathic communications with some species turns them on, like a switch. But sometimes I thought I was developing my powers and it turned out to be a trick." She told him about Sespira.

"I was reading in the log books about that space disease you encountered when you studied the collapse of a planet," she said. "Back during the first year of this mission?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded. He described in detail the symptoms of the disease and everyone's reaction to it, avoiding names.

"We had people crying and laughing and someone stole a sword and started terrorizing half the crew with it," he said, smiling now at the absurdity. "It was an interesting mission."

"Good thing we never went through anything like that…though we did fall under the psychological control of an alien who put us all in paralysis. It was up to me and the doctor to save everyone, and I nearly went under. It was scary, but we got through it."

Kes glanced up at McCoy again. He was watching her, leaned back in his chair and his hand on his chin.

"What kind of paralysis?"

"Some people imagined they were home with loved ones or on a beach with friends. The visions depended on the person. I imagined I had some horrible disease, but I used a trick I learned from Tuvok to snap out of it."

"A friend of yours?"

She stood and went over to the bedside table, picking up the frame. She returned and handed it to McCoy. "The Vulcan."

He nodded and scanned the image. "The woman holding you…who is she?"

"Katherine Janeway. Like a mother to me."

"The man with the yellow eyes?"

Kes sighed. "An ex-boyfriend. He lived near me, once."

"What about the woman with the ridges on her forehead?"

"B'Elana Torres. She's probably dating Tom Paris right now. He's the human sticking the bunny ears behind Harry."

"The man with the tattoos?"

"Chakotay. He was very proud of his Native American heritage."

"And the man on your other side?"

Kes smiled. "That's the doctor."

"Does he have a name?"

"No, but some have called him Switzer, or Dr. Van Gogh, and I can't remember his other name. He was like a father to me, and he taught me everything I know about medicine. He knows some of your work."

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "Me? I've hardly done anything to be worthy of merit."

Kes shrugged. They chatted nonchalantly for the rest of the meal, but it was soon over.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'd like to make this a permanent part of my routine. I haven't had conversations like this in ages. To coin a phrase, it's quite refreshing."

"I'm glad I have such good conversational skills to keep you interested, doctor."

"Oh, I'm interested, all right. You've guaranteed my attention for as long as I'm on this vessel," he said with a smile.

"Why must you always be so sweet?" she teased. "I'm quite in debt to your compliments."

"You don't owe me anything, darlin'. Your smiles are good enough for me. And your kisses."

Kes blushed and looked away, a small smile playing on the corners of her lips. She saw out of the corner of her eye McCoy, coming closer. She turned to him.

"I had a wonderful time, Kes."

"So did I, doctor."

Never taking his eyes from hers, he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. With a wink, he was out the door, but she could still feel the chills from his kiss.


	19. Obsession

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. Small chapter, I know. I just wanted to start building some tension.**_

"_Drop shields and arm yourselves!"_

_An older captain in 24__th__ century uniform held a phaser rifle and aimed it at a small vortex that was appearing out of thin air. A small alien flew out of the vortex, straight at Kes, who stood behind the captain. It was in her face-_

Kes bolted straight up, sweating bullets. The ship in the dream had looked somewhat like _Voyager_, only smaller and in a state of utter disarray, and from the looks of it, understaffed.

"Computer, time!" Kes croaked groggily.

"0500 hours," it replied calmly. Kes laid back down and sighed. She didn't need to get up for another two hours to get ready for work, but she didn't think she could go back to sleep. The dream was still too fresh on her mind, vivid and so real. The horror and panic were still fresh as well, if her heartbeat was any indication.

After a few minutes, she ripped off the covers and rifled through her things until she found what she was looking for: a small medical scanner she had bribed Scotty into repairing for her. She ran it over herself and checked it.

Serotonin levels up 25%. _Crap, _she thought.

She was too awake now to even attempt to go back to sleep, so she showered and got ready for her shift in the medical labs.

Steinburg found her two hours later hard at work in the lab, a large thermos within arm's reach. Every minute or so, Kes would take a drink from it, but never taking her eyes from her work.

"And I thought I was early," he said, leaning on the counter. She looked up and smiled at him.

"Bad night last night?" he asked, noting the dark circles under her eyes.

"Nightmare," she said, not bothering to look at him.

He grunted in acknowledgement. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." She yawned and reached for her thermos. "Sorry, I woke up at 0500 and I'm just now wanting to go back to sleep." She sighed and continued working.

Steinburg sauntered over and looked over her work, raising his eyebrows.

"Let me see that," he muttered, reaching for her PADD. She held it out to him, still avoiding his eyes.

He read it over and gasped. "Kes… go get some sleep. You've done an entire day's work in two hours. I think you deserve a day off."

Her smile was brimming with gratitude as she picked up her thermos and walked out. She decided to stop by sickbay to see if they needed any help; she was still apprehensive about going back to sleep. The dream was still imprinted strongly in her mind.

"Hello, doctor."

He turned and smiled at her, but his smile faltered as she took in her dark circles and worn-out look.

"Good gracious, Kes, you look like something the cat dragged in. No offense."

"I feel like that, so none taken. Need any help down here before I take the day off?"

McCoy shook his head. "We're all set, but even if we did need help it would be cruel to make you work in the state you're in. Now go get some sleep, Lieutenant. Doctor's orders."

She nodded absentmindedly and wondered on out of sickbay. When the doors were shut, McCoy arched an eyebrow after her.

Kes walked back to her quarters in a daze, hardly registering her surroundings. Soon she was collapsing on her bed and fast asleep.

…

She awoke several hours later, her stomach grumbling. She replicated a small salad to munch on while she looked over her PADD. Her door buzzed.

"Come in!" she called after swallowing a mouthful of salad.

McCoy walked in, hands behind his back. "I wanted to see how you were doing…and to ask for your help."

"Go on."

He sighed, sitting in her chair. She folded her legs on the bed, eating her salad.

"We've got three men dead, Kes, since you went to sleep. The away mission…didn't go too well. I could use a little help on the autopsy reports and such down in sickbay…if you're up to it."

_He sounds so tired, _she thought. She put down her salad and kneeled down in front of him.

"Whatever you need me to do, doctor."

He looked at her with an odd expression. A mixture of weariness, anxiety and…something else flitted across his face as he gazed at her. But he looked away again.

"Thank you, lieutenant. It's just…these deaths…I can't explain it. I don't know what killed them or how they died…it's so confusing…." He trailed off and sighed again. Kes carefully laid her hand over his, entwining her fingers about his own. He looked at her again, that strange expression back.

"You'll figure it out, doctor," she said, quickly kissing his cheek. "I know you will."

He seemed slightly more cheerful when she kissed him. He helped her to her feet and they walked out of her quarters together.


	20. The Mark of a Goddess

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

She was lying on hard, cold stone, her hands bound behind her back. She looked around, but darkness pressed in on every side, cloyingly sweet. She could barely make out two figures lying on her left, and she could see small circles of torchlight. Then an odor, sharp and metallic hit her nose. Blood.

"She is the goddess-daughter, Cumrok! You heard the high priest. Terek has spoken!"

"Then she must have great power, Rillik. That is the mark of a goddess-daughter. We could use her power to defeat our enemies and make of ourselves a powerful force to be reckoned with. Think of it, Rillik! We could be gods ourselves with her power!"

She sat up, listening intently. Were they discussing her? What had happened?

"Do you want to feel the wrath of the mother goddess, Cumrok? We are not worthy of her power. We should plead forgiveness! We have captured her and her favored ones."

"I do not fear the wrath of the mother goddess, Rillik. You are a coward and a fool to not realize the potential we have here! Get gone, if you cannot summon the courage to use what opportunity so conveniently places in our hands."

She heard footsteps, and a humanoid swept by, throwing her an apologetic look. He was clothed in animal skins, bare-chested but for a gold amulet that shone in the torchlight. His skin had a reddish hue, and his eyes were light gold. But his footsteps soon faded and the room was silent.

"Kes?" She heard Scotty's voice whisper in the darkness.

"I'm here, Scotty. What happened? We were on the survey mission then…I can't remember anything else."

"Neither do I. Who else is with us?"

"One more. I can't tell who."

She heard scuffling and could barely make out the furthest of the two figures nudge the other. She heard a groan.

"What…where are we?" Sulu.

"I don't know. Did you hear that conversation just now, Scotty?"

"Aye. What were they talking about?"

Kes didn't answer. She struggled closer to her shipmates, trying her best in darkness to see if they had any injuries.

"Kes! Your forehead!"

"What about it, Sulu?"

"There's a mark on your head," said Scotty. "It looks like…a sun or somethin'. And it's glowin' too!"

The mark of a goddess, they had said.

"Guys?"

"Yeah?"

"I think they were talking about me."

She saw Scotty's worried look. But Sulu looked confused.

"What did they say?"

"They think I'm the daughter of a goddess and they were arguing about whether or not to use my power. One was against it, but the other was all for it."

"Use your power? How? For what?"

"I don't know, Sulu."

Before they could say anything more, several people walked into the room, bringing torches. They wore long robes sewn from animal skins and bits of cloth. One was adorned with a gold headband; Kes assumed he was the leader.

The group kneeled before them, chanting something under their breath. One of them held an incense burner and lit it, then set it in front of Kes. A pungent sweet smell permeated the room, and Kes felt dizzy.

A gong rung somewhere and the leader approached her. Long black hair streamed down his back, and many scars were etched into his skin. He bowed.

"The goddess has marked you as one of her own, Kulsiya. But the power that flows in your veins will mingle with my blood and make me strong, and will make this kingdom strong. So I have spoken, so you hear!" It was Cumrok, the man from before.

The group shouted and cried in loud voices that rung around the dark room. The leader continued.

"These are your favored ones, are they not?"

Kes was unsure what to say. "And what if they are?"

"Then, Kulsiya, they will be honored and cared for until the time comes, and we will do likewise for you."

"They are favored ones."

The group shouted again as the gong rang. Kes glanced at the other two. They seemed half-drugged with the incense burning in front of them.

"So the goddess-daughter speaks. Take them to the prepared place."

Five of them came forward and hauled them up, leading them down narrow corridors and up stairs, until they were deposited in a small room which held a table with a basin on it, some torches, and a rather large bed for the size of the room.

Their hands were unbound, but they heard the door click. They were locked in.

"What the heck was that all about? Favored ones?"

"I don't know, but I don't like this. He said something about my power and his blood mingling together."

"I don't like the sound of that. Does anyone remember how we got here in the first place?" asked Scotty.

Kes shook her head, but Sulu concentrated hard.

"I think I remember we were doing a medical and biological survey."

Kes and Scotty nodded. "I remember that too," said Kes.

"Then I remember turning and seeing one of the natives, and then my mind goes blank."

"Aye…they must have jumped us while our backs were turned, the devils."

"Is that mark still on my forehead?"

Scotty nodded. "Here, look for yourself."

He handed her the bowl, obviously full of water, and she gazed at her reflection. A beautiful mark, shaped like a red blazing sun with outstretched rays, no bigger than her thumbnail glowed on her brow. She touched it lightly and drew back her hand. It burned.

"Ow!"

"What?"

"I touched it and it burned my fingers." She dipped them in the water to cool them and instantly the sting was gone.

"Wow…I don't know what's in this water, but it must have healing properties. My fingers stopped hurting once I dipped them in."

"That's odd," Scotty said. Sulu yawned.

"I don't know about you two, but I am wiped out."

Kes felt really tired too. "The only problem is that there's only one bed."

"I think that was meant for you, lass. I guess us 'favored ones' get to sleep on the floor."

Kes looked at the bed. "There's room enough for two, if we squeeze."

Scotty and Sulu both glanced at each other. Sulu nodded and looked around for some bedding.

"I guess you and I will be sleeping together tonight, lass."

For the first time, Kes smiled. "Here, Sulu, have a blanket at least."

He nodded his thanks and camped out on the floor. Kes crawled into the big bed and scooted over to make room for Scotty. He lay down beside her and was soon asleep. In five minutes, all she could hear was soft breathing. She stared at the ceiling, the events of the last half an hour spinning through her head.

These people thought she was the daughter of a goddess and thought she had incredible powers. They called Scotty and Sulu "favored ones" and her "Kulsiya". They were superstitious and primitive, and likely very dangerous. She and the others had no phasers, no communicators. They were trapped down here, and Kes' power and that man's blood would mingle somehow.

She sighed and drifted off into a fitful sleep.

…

She awoke to silence and twilight. She bolted up and looked around, but Scotty and Sulu were gone, and her hands were bound again. Cumrok was sitting at the foot of her bed, smiling at her.

"Kulsiya," he said in his deep voice.

"My name is Kes."

"So I hear. Your friends did not take lightly to being taken away from you."

She noticed he did away with the mumbo-jumbo from last night, and had said "friends" instead of "favored ones."

"Where have you taken them?"

"Oh, your friends are safe, Kes. They have not been harmed."

"You'd better be telling the truth."

He only smirked. "You're no goddess, Kes. But you do have power. Oh, yes, you have immense power…." The last sentence was barely more than a whisper. Kes shivered.

"What did you mean by my power and your blood mingling?"

"Exactly as I said. Your blood and mine will touch, and I will gain some of your power. And the might of this kingdom will flourish again."

He crawled, almost feline, toward her and sat behind her. She felt chills as his finger slowly traced her neck.

"You and I would be powerful together. Think of the might at our fingertips, ready to destroy or create anything we wish. We'll rule this planet with your abilities. Then, you'll truly be a goddess."

His fingers continued tracing her neck, and his lips followed. She twisted away, but he only laughed.

"Prove your power to me, Kes. Try and resist me. Let me feel the wrath of a goddess-daughter!"

He moved around in front of her and pushed her back down. His lips found hers, and she bit his lip in retaliation. But he only bit her lip back and pressed his lips to hers.

He whispered in her ear as she struggled to break free of his hold. "It has already begun, Kes. Your blood and mine have touched. Your power will be mine."

Laughing, he let go of her and left the room.

…

The next day, she awoke when she felt herself being lifted and carried away. She opened her eyes. It was Cumrok.

"It is time, Kulsiya. I have prepared your friends and now I will prepare you."

He took her into another room and set her down in a chair. She noticed she felt weak and groggy, and her mind felt shrouded in mist. He braided her hair and pulled it back with a golden pin. Then he handed her some clothes.

"Change into these."

She thought it best not to argue, so she took the clothes and he left the room. The outfit was made of some sort of animal skin, but it was pure white with golden thread running through it. She put it on and turned around. She gasped when she saw her reflection in a mirror.

The mark on her forehead was glowing again, but small twirling lines that reminded her of clouds swept around her eyes and cheekbones. For some reason, her eyes stood out clear and blue with these new additions. The skins made her look like some wild hunter, but combined with the tattoo, she looked celestial and strange. She hardly recognized herself in the mirror.

Cumrok came back in and led her through winding corridors and down narrow staircases. Eventually she saw light ahead, and she had to squint her eyes against the blazing sunlight when she came out onto a platform.

Before her was a crowd of people, all dressed in animal skins and course cloth. Rillik was there on the platform with her, and Scotty and Sulu. Her shipmates were dressed in skins like hers, only without the gold thread. She noticed they were both staring at the new marks. Cumrok handed her over to some robed assistants and walked over to Scotty and Sulu. He pushed them toward a raised slab of stone in the center of the platform, then forced them to their knees. He drew a knife and held it to Scotty's throat.

"No!" she shouted. "They are favored ones. They must not die, Cumrok!"

He turned to her, confused. "But goddess-daughter, what is the purpose of a favored one but to give their lifeblood to you?"

Kes' face turned white with horror. "I misunderstood you, Cumrok. They are valued companions, and I will unleash all my power against you if you so much as touch them."

Cumrok frowned, but did not move.

Rillik stepped forward. "Your wishes are confused, Kulsiya. Has it been so long since you walked among us that you do not remember our ways?"

"It has," she said, thinking fast. "I did not know the meaning of 'favored one'. But these are my friends and they are dear to me. Their lifeblood is too precious to spill."

Cumrok took the knife from Scotty's throat and approached her. "As you wish."

He grabbed her arm and cut it lengthwise from wrist to elbow. She gasped in pain as the knife slit her flesh, and watched in horror as Cumrok did the same to himself. He held up his bleeding forearm and took her hand in his, pressing the cuts together.

Kes screamed in agony. Whatever he was doing, it felt like knives were stabbing her forearm again and again, as if a poison were spreading up her arm to her shoulder and down to her fingertips. Her arm burned as Cumrok squeezed harder, and for some reason, so did her forehead. She felt tears roll down her cheeks.

Finally, he released her, and she collapsed into the arms of the assistants who were holding her. She looked up and saw Cumrok show his arm to the crowd, and they cheered.

"Power!" he shouted, and the crowd took up the cry.

But an arrow pierced Cumrok's leg, and he fell to one knee near the altar stone. Kes looked out and saw shadows on the edges of the trees in the distance. But they were so far away, and night was falling fast….

…

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Am I in sickbay? _she thought to herself as she came to. She could hear the magnified thump of her heartbeat and a murmured conversation far off.

She opened her eyes.

Blue irises looked down at her and she felt a finger run down her cheek.

"Doctor."

"Kes."

She tried to sit up, but gentle pressure forced her back down. "What happened?"

McCoy sighed. "When we learned you had been captured, we disguised ourselves and made allies with Cumrok's enemies. We raided his temple and saved you and Scotty and Sulu. They're all right. But you lost a lot of blood."

"Is there still a mark on my forehead?"

McCoy frowned. "No, why?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Ask Scotty…."

The last thing she felt before she drifted back to sleep was the brush of lips on her forehead. She fell asleep smiling.

…

She was discharged from sickbay the next day. She found Scotty and asked to talk to him, and he invited her and Sulu to lunch.

"They woke us up in the middle of night and dragged us down to another room, and they left us there until they needed us for the ceremony," said Scotty softly. "It was damp and cold down there, but they didn't hurt us or anything. What about you?"

"Cumrok talked to me."

Sulu frowned. "What did he say?"

"He told me what he wanted to do." She didn't feel like discussing it. The other two got the message and changed the subject.

She was walking back to her quarters when she heard someone call her name.

"Lieutenant!"

The captain strode up the corridor towards her, smiling.

"I'd like to congratulate you on handling that mission well. From what Scotty told me, you were very brave. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, captain."

He nodded. "Good work, Kes. Keep it up."

He wandered off, and she continued on to her quarters, but she walked with a little spring in her step.


	21. Immunity Syndrome, Part 1

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"Nurse Chapel to Lieutenant Kes, come in please."

"Kes here. What do you need, Christine?"

"Could you come down here for a second? I need some help with a patient."

"On my way."

She walked out of the lab and down to sickbay, sighing deeply. The _Enterprise _was headed for Starbase 6 for shore leave, and everyone aboard couldn't wait. They were all exhausted.

The first thing she saw when she walked into sickbay was Lt. Steinburg, clutching his arm. He apparently wasn't letting anyone near him. She walked up to him slowly and smiled.

"Hey lieutenant."

He turned to her and gave her a wan smile. He was obviously in a lot of pain.

"Can I see your arm?"

He reluctantly held it out, but when she touched it, he hissed and drew it back.

"Stop being a wuss, Steinburg. Give me that arm."

He stared at her for a moment, then held out his arm again, gritting his teeth as she gently held it.

"He's got a compound fracture, Christine."

She nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Kes. Wanna help out?"

"Sure," she said, taking a PADD from Christine. She sat on a biobed to read it. But two seconds later it crashed to the floor.

_She heard voices, so many voices, hundreds of souls in the darkness. Void. They cried out, screaming and pleading for help, but no one answered. She felt their desperation, their fear and confusion. Something was killing them slowly, something no logic could explain._

_Desperation. Fear. Confusion. Illogic._

_Death._

"Kes!"

She had slid off the biobed and was collapsed on the floor, her head aching. She rubbed her temples and felt tears well up in her eyes.

"The _Intrepid_…."

"Come on, Kes, up you go. Dr. McCoy had better get down here soon, or I'm calling him down from the bridge." Christine helped her up and onto a bed. A tear rolled down Kes' cheek.

"Nurse, I need your help for an exam-what's wrong, Kes?"

She turned and nodded to Dr. McCoy, but when she saw Spock, she slid off the biobed and approached him slowly.

"I'm so sorry…all of them…." she whispered to him. She knew he understood.

McCoy looked at her oddly. "Miss Chapel, I'll take care of Spock. Do an examination on Kes for me, please."

Christine nodded and Kes returned to the biobed.

"I assured you, doctor, I am quite all right. The pain was momentary. It passed quickly."

"Well, all my instruments seem to agree with you. If I can trust these crazy Vulcan readings."

Spock climbed off the biobed and straightened his uniform.

"Spock, how can you be so sure the _Intrepid _was destroyed?"

"I sensed it die."

"But I thought you had to be in physical contact with the subject before-"

"-Doctor…even I, a half-Vulcan, could hear the death scream of 400 Vulcan minds crying out over the distance between us."

"Not even a Vulcan could feel a starship die."

"And yet I could," interrupted Kes. "I felt them…all of them. Their confusion, their desperation…the _Intrepid _is dead, doctor, along with her crew. I know…and so does Spock."

"But 400 Vulcans…."

"I've noticed that about your people, doctor," said Spock coldly. "You find it easier to accept the death of one than the death of a million. You speak of the objective hardness of the Vulcan heart…yet how little room there seems to be in yours."

He headed for the door.

"Suffer the death of thy neighbor, eh Spock? Ah, you wouldn't wish that on us, would you?"

"It might have rendered your history a bit less bloody."

…

"Sickbay to Captain Kirk, McCoy here."

"Kirk here, what is it?"

"I'm getting reports from every deck: half the people on the ship just fainted."

Kes looked over at McCoy ruefully as he described the crew's sudden symptoms. She seemed the only nurse in sickbay who wasn't tired, irritable or dizzy. She felt all right, but it pained her to see so many people like this. There was no light banter, no jokes, not even a smile from any of the people lined up to receive stimulants.

"How do you feel, Rolands?" she asked an engineer.

"Horrible," he spat back. She injected him and sent him on his way. Almost all of them were like that.

The line seemed never ending. Department heads from all over the ship were calling in reports of irritableness and sudden weakness. The line was backed up into the corridor now.

"I'm going up to the bridge, Kes. Replicate some more stimulants; it looks like you're going to need it."


	22. Immunity Syndrome, Part 2

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

_She was walking in…a Borg vessel. She knew now; she was on a cube. She was terrified of…something…she started to run. There were drones after her. She had to hurry!_

_Down twisting corridors she sprinted, hurtling along, but her efforts were futile. She ran straight into a force field and fell to the ground. She turned to see any sign of pursuit, but there was no one._

_Only a large black bird with yellow eyes._

_For some reason, this filled her with even more dread. She tried to crawl away, but she couldn't move. Frozen in place, she watched in horror as the bird flew right at her. Closer, almost to her-_

"Kes!"

She jolted awake, surprised to see she was slumped over a biobed in sickbay. What happened?

Dr. McCoy sighed wearily and quickly scanned her. He frowned.

"Kes…how long has it been since you slept?"

"About twenty-five hours, why?"

His frown deepened. "How do you expect to perform at top efficiency when you can't even keep awake to do it?"

He paused, about to continue, but he seemed to be torn about something.

"Doctor," Kes said quickly, "At this point we can't afford to let anyone on break. We have to keep this ship going."

He gazed into her eyes for a moment, then nodded grimly.

"As soon as this is over, you're going to bed. Doctor's orders."

She smiled wryly. "Understood, sir."

He walked off to administer some more stimulants, and Kes sighed. This wasn't the first time she had been driven into the ground with work, but at least this time her boss was kind and sympathetic.

"_Get up and get moving, Ocampan scum!"_

_Her master's harsh voice broke through her dreams, and Kes blinked awake. _

"_I said get moving!"_

_She doubled in pain as the Kazon's foot connected with her stomach. He laughed cruelly and gave her another kick for good measure, it seemed._

"_You'll be cleaning the converters today, you little slut. Considering your competence, you should get up and start now if you want any sleep tonight. Let's go, you stupid whore!"_

_Kes finally climbed to her feet, but she clutched her aching stomach as she followed her master to the converter._

"_Get started, and don't let me see your ugly face until you're done. Got it?"_

_He walked out and slammed the door, leaving her in almost complete darkness._

"Kes! We need some more stimulants over here, please."

She nodded and handed the supplies to McCoy and she gave him a grateful smile. He raised his eyebrows at her in response, but he seemed to be slightly less weary because of it.

If only he knew.

…

When Kes had left to the other room, the CMO contemplated her strange behavior. Why did she smile at him like that? Every ounce of kindness and gratitude in Kes seemed to shine in her face, at him. It was a refreshing change from the misery and weariness he was now surrounded with.

What was on her mind?

…

"All hands, this is the captain. We are slowly being pulled deeper into the zone of darkness by an unknown force. We're going to apply all available power into one giant forward thrust in the hope that it will yank us out of the zone. Prepare yourselves."

Kes sighed and followed McCoy into the lab. They were trying to determine if there was an alternative to all the stimulants that had been holding the crew together.

"Some days…." McCoy grumbled. He looked careworn and much older than he really was. She laid her hand on his shoulder in support. Other than her tiredness from lack of sleep, Kes didn't feel extremely bad like everyone else. It was probably her alien physiology that was helping support her.

"We'll make it through this, doctor. This is the finest ship in the fleet."

His smile was weary, but she could see he appreciated the sentiment.

Suddenly, the ship rocked and buckled. Kes was thrown across the room by the rocking of the ship, but thankfully she avoided colliding with the counter by McCoy's arm. He held her tight in his embrace as they flew from one side of the room to the other. Finally, the buckling stopped.

Kes let out a big sigh and let her shoulders relax. She looked up at McCoy to let him know she was unharmed, but when she opened her mouth to speak, she stopped dead.

The intensity of his blue gaze was doing strange things to her stomach. She suddenly felt slightly sick, but for some reason, she didn't want to detach herself from his embrace.

"Are you ok?" McCoy grumbled softly, turning her around to face him and holding her shoulders.

"I'm fine, doctor, thank you." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. For the third time, she noticed the beautiful blue of his eyes, the way his hair had fallen slightly into his face, his expression as he caught his breath.

He looked frazzled.

But he also looked incredibly and devilishly handsome.

Why hadn't she noticed before?

She blushed and looked down as the floor as the feeling in her stomach returned. She was suddenly very embarrassed that he had held her so closely, that she had noticed all his features in such an acute manner. Everything endearing about this man was now very clear to her, and it made her face flush.

"I'll see if there are any injuries, doctor." Kes rushed from the lab and threw herself into to treating the injured that flooded into sickbay.

…

McCoy had gone to the bridge to monitor Spock's progress in the shuttle, and Kes was still working in sickbay. She was worried about the first officer, that he would not survive the mission. Vulcans were stubborn and hearty, true; being in the company of Tuvok had taught her that. But still, she feared for Spock's life, and she was sure the doctor and the captain felt the same.

_So little air in here. It will have to do. I must destroy this creature before it reproduces, or the galaxy will be lost._

Kes gasped. _Spock._

_I am a Vulcan. I will not succumb to weakness or cowardice. I must complete this mission._

Spock. She could hear his thoughts.

But as soon as she realized it, she could no longer hear him. But she could feel his shuttle, far ahead, deep in the creature now threatening the_ Enterprise_ and the galaxy.

_Hold on, Spock. I've got you._

…

McCoy sighed for the seventh time. Kes looked up from her PADD and approached him carefully, shoving down her feelings.

"Something wrong, doctor?"

He looked up, startled. "No…there's no need to worry about me, Kes."

He turned back to his work, but Kes stayed where she was. "Whatever you say."

His attention returned to her. "What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "Spock's alive, doctor. No need to worry; I'd feel it if he were dead."

His face brightened, and he came out from behind his desk and took her shoulders. "You mean…he's ok?"

"He's alive, doctor. That's all I know."

He pulled her a centimeter closer. Her heart started to pound, and she her face flushed. They could probably hear it all the way up to the bridge.

"You mean…you can feel him?" Her stomach lurched.

"The impression is faint, but yes, I can feel his presence out there."

His eyes filled with an expression Kes couldn't place. It was akin to…hunger? Whatever it was, it diffused over McCoy's face, and he pulled her into a tight embrace. Kes could feel his lips on her hair. She carefully wrapped her arms around him, and they stayed like that for a minute or two. When Kes pulled back, she was surprised to find her face was wet.

McCoy took her face in his hands.

"I know, darlin'."

It was only then that she noticed his eyes were slightly misty too.

…

_It's out there. Losing power, but out there._

The ship continued to jolt and buck.

_Hold on! I've got you._

She could feel it, tugging along with the _Enterprise_'s route to freedom.

Then, they were free.

They were free, and Spock was home.


	23. Return to Tomorrow

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. Thank you for all your reviews. By the way, the '%$^#' is garbled mess, not cussing, ok?**_

Kes' face was void of emotion as she gazed down at the sphere which held the captain's conscience.

_Something's off about this._

She had called hyposprays to her without moving a muscle. She had healed Seven of Nine when an implant was malfunctioning. She hurled _Voyager _10,000 light years closer to Earth. But what sort of power was this?

"What is it, Kes?"

She jumped at Christine's voice, and she spun around. But even as she did so, she caught a slight emptiness in Christine's eyes that disturbed her.

"I might ask you the same question. Is something wrong?"

Christine frowned and looked down at her hands, as if she were holding something.

"There was something I wanted to say."

It was Kes' turn to frown. "Why can't you?"

Christine shook her head as if clearing it of water. "I…don't remember. Someone has…tampered…with my mind…."

Kes came closer and looked deeper into Christine's eyes. For some reason, she knew exactly what to do. She lightly placed her fingers to Christine's forehead.

_One *%...*^# different..)(# !& you saw me *&$ hypos and inform *&$ coy…._

"I'm getting a garbled memory from you. Not all of it is clear; it's like a transmission with heavy interference. I got 'one'…'different'... 'you saw me'…'hypos and inform' and possibly…'McCoy'. It was faint and hard to translate."

Christine's eyes widened. "How did you do that? Read my memory like that?"

Kes shook her head. "I don't know. Did that help, though?"

"Yes, I…remember some now."

"Is there a problem, ladies?"

Henoch smirked casually from the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"No, not at all, Henoch."

Ever since Henoch had transferred into Spock's body, Kes had felt uneasy any time she was around him, which was thankfully rare.

"Do you need anything?"

He shook his head, and his grin widened. "No, just checking on your poor captain."

He exited with another smirk. Kes looked back at Kirk and shook her head in disgust.

"I don't trust him, Christine. He gives me the creeps."

But Christine was silent. Kes turned to find her staring off into space.

"What is it?"

"Henoch erased my memory." She looked up at Kes questioningly, like a child who was unsure of the answer the teacher wants.

Kes walked slowly over to her and took her hand. "You've just confirmed my feelings about him, Christine. We'll inform Dr. McCoy when he gets back."

"He's back." Dr. McCoy strode into sickbay and approached the two nurses. "What can I do for you?"

"Henoch isn't trustworthy; Christine's just confirmed that. We need to do something."

At McCoy's raised eyebrows and frown, Kes explained the situation.

"The formula in Sargon's hypo was different. Henoch's up to no good."

"Maybe Thalassa could help. After all, she is Sargon's wife."

"Yes, I'll talk to her later when Henoch's not around…poor Jim. If only there was something we could do!"

…

"I will not peddle flesh!" She heard the doctor's harsh whisper from the next room. Thalassa had gone in there a few moments ago, and now Kes inched closer to the door.

"A physician!" Thalassa's voice echoed through the open doorway. "In contrast to what we are, you are a prancing, savage medicine man! You dare defy one you should be on your knees worshiping? _I could destroy you with a single thought_!"

At that, Kes entered the room. She felt something course through her blood, and suddenly she felt…very strong.

McCoy was doubled in pain, surrounded by a force field.

"No!"

_Concentrate on the floor. The molecules…make them move…make them dance…._

Flames roared up between Kes and Thalassa. The latter looked terrified of this new power, or maybe of her own.

"Stop!" Thalassa cried.

McCoy straightened up, free from the force field. Kes' flames reduced and went out, yet they left no mark on the floor.

Thalassa walked quickly to McCoy. "Sargon was right; the temptations inside a living body are too great. Forgive me."

"I am pleased, my beloved," echoed a voice. "It is good you have found the truth yourself."

"Sargon…" Thalassa whispered. "Where are you? I thought you destroyed by Henoch!"

"I have power even Henoch does not suspect, beloved."

Thalassa slowly raised her fingertips to her temples, a smile growing on her lips.

"Yes…yes, I see…I understand."

She explained to them how Sargon had place himself in the ship. Christine entered.

"Doctor, leave us. Sargon has a plan; we have much work to do."

With a glance at Christine, Kes followed the doctor out of the room.

…

Kes heard Uhura's scream as the turbolift doors opened. Henoch, distracted by the newcomer, stopped his torture of the communications officer and concentrated on her.

She felt like some invisible thing was thrown on her, but it was weak, like a hastily made net easily broken by a knife. She tossed off Henoch's control and placed herself between him and Uhura.

_Come to rescue your friends, are you? How very noble._

Henoch's voice filled her mind, but it sounded nervous and unsure.

_Once, I accidently burned my Vulcan mentor's face. But now, I am in much more control of my power. Would you like for me to demonstrate?_

Henoch chuckled mirthlessly. "I'd like to see you try," he said aloud.

He tried to throw Sulu across the bridge, but a wall of flames surrounded the helmsman. Henoch turned back to her and smiled.

"Most impressive. Where did you learn such tricks?"

At that moment, the turbolift doors opened again, and the captain, Dr. Mulhall and the CMO walked onto the bridge.

"Pain, captain," stated Henoch simply.

"Only a warm fire in the hearth, sir," Kes countered. Merry and bright, flames surrounded the captain.

McCoy strode forward with a hypo.

Henoch only smirked and froze the doctor in mid-stride. But Kes smiled to herself and let the plan unfold.

"Take the hypo from him…now inject him with it."

But Christine injected Henoch, who lept from his chair in surprise.

He chuckled. "Fools…I'll only transfer to another place…another body."

He turned around, shocked. "Sargon…no, Sargon, please…let me…let me transfer-"

Spock's body lay lifeless on the floor.

…

With everything back to normal, Kes finished up a shift in the lab. Steinburg, unfortunately, had been transferred to a space station near the Klingon border, and Kes missed him. Another lieutenant was head of the labs now, and she was kind.

"Finished with those Hellian spores, Kes?"

"Almost, Janet. I'll have them for you in a minute."

Lt. Janet Finn had short black hair, which was unusual for women aboard this ship. From the get-go, she had insisted Kes call her by her first name. She dispensed with rank and title the minute she walked through the door. She was there to do work, yes, but she wasn't going to be uppity about it. Kes liked her laid-back personality. Janet reminded her of Tom Paris in a way, though Janet might have more sense than Tom.

Janet took the sample gratefully and exited.

Kes was alone for thirty minutes or more before she heard the doors swoosh open.

"Back so soon, Janet? I thought botany needed your expert opinion and that you'd be gone for at least an hour."

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, and to her surprise she turned to find McCoy standing there.

"Hello, doctor. Sorry, I was expecting Janet."

His lips twitched upward in a small smile and he took the seat next to hers.

"May I ask you something, Kes?"

She smiled. "Of course, doctor. You know that."

She had turned back to the next sample, but she felt a hand slowly turn her face to the side. Her heartbeat increased, and she tried her hardest not to blush.

"Yesterday was yet another time you've saved my life. I know you are…beyond description, but to say the least you're a wonderful addition to this crew. But I've got to ask…how did you do it?"

She noticed his hand was still on her chin.

"Sargon amplified my natural powers and supplemented them with some of his own. That's why I was able to protect everyone. Sargon didn't want anyone to be hurt."

McCoy nodded and, realizing that his hand was still holding her chin, dropped his hand to his side and looked away for a moment.

"Sorry…I was thinking about Sargon and…."

"It's fine," Kes said, too quickly than she meant to.

With one last glance at her, he stood up.

"I'm taking you away from your work…I'll see you around."

He left quickly and the doors swished to a close.

And over the next hour, if she concentrated hard enough, she could still feel his hand.


	24. Spock's Brain, Part 1

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"_Captain's log, stardate 4351.5: We are beaming down to a primitive glaciated planet in the Sigma Draconus star system. Time left to us to find Spock's brain: 8 hours and 29 minutes."_

"Life form readings, Mr. Spock-Mr. Scott?"

"Scattered…widely spaced…humanoid, all right, on the large side," Scotty replied without missing a beat.

Kes smiled to herself. The poor captain was so used to Mr. Spock's presence on away mission that he probably didn't have to think about standard procedure.

Her ears twitched in awareness. Turning around, she thought she saw a large figure in the distance dart behind a rock, but she couldn't be sure. It could have been some wild animal. She checked her tricorder.

"Captain!" she called.

Kirk and Chekov came running toward her, and the other three turned around.

"There's something out there on the rocks. My readings show five humanoid life forms, captain."

"Phasers on stun," he ordered. She pulled out her weapon and obeyed the order. "I want them conscience."

They crept toward the rocks, the captain in the lead. She strode quietly between Scotty and one the security officers.

Kirk signaled for them to fan out, sending two officers to the right and Chekov, Scotty and Kes to the left.

Suddenly, fierce cries rang out in front of them and clubs came flying through the air. Kes dodged a rock and tried to get a good shot, but the constant volley of debris prevented any action on her part. The natives may be primitive, but they were doing an effective job at defending themselves.

Finally the captain stunned one and the rest fled. The Kirk, Scotty and Kes rushed to the stunned man's side.

"We mean you no harm. We're not your enemies, we're your friends."

The man's eyes glanced over the three, but when his eyes found Kes, he shrunk away.

"You are with one of the others?" His whisper was full of terror and awe, and he pointed a shaky finger at her. "You are small, like the others. You are with one. Has that one come for me?"

Kirk and Scotty stared at Kes in confusion. "You mean…she is like the others?"

"She is one of the others. Givers of pain…and delight."

"Do these others live here?"

"No, they come. They give pain and delight."

"Do they come from the sky?"

"They are here. You will see. Has she come for you? They come for all like us."

It all clicked in Kes' mind. "Captain, he's talking about women. The others are women."

His eyes lit up in comprehension.

"Can you take us to where we can find the others?"

"No one wants to find them!" The native struggled and tried to get away, finally succeeding and following his friends.

"Captain!" Chekov came forward. "Five hundred meters in that direction, there's a foundation under the surface. A huge one, registrations all over the place!"

"Buildings?"

"Yes, sir. Immensely old, completely buried, but they were here once."

"Somewhere down there is where the others live. Scotty, go that way and see if you can find a way down."

…

"_Enterprise,_ have Dr. McCoy beam down with Spock immediately."

As Kirk gave orders to Chekov and the security team, Dr. McCoy slowly materialized a few feet away. He smiled sadly at Kes as he directed Spock toward the cave.

"Keep to the right," muttered Scotty as Kes and the others followed them in. Once they were all in, the captain reached for the food and weapons.

A metal door clammered down to shut them in and the floor plummeted. Acting out of instinct, Kes grabbed the nearest person to her, which happened to be McCoy. He was not expecting the sudden contact and he gasped a little as her arms wrapped around his torso. He looked down at her in surprise, but his eyes soon reflected relief as the ride settled.

Blushing slightly, Kes broke away from McCoy. But she didn't miss Scotty's wink as she turned away and pretended to be interested in the cave walls.

"Phasers on stun," ordered Kirk and Scotty obeyed. McCoy shifted over closer to Spock so that he was directly behind Scotty and the captain. Kes stood beside the CMO, occasionally balancing herself now that she was used to the vertigo.

For some reason, that turbolift ride couldn't end soon enough. Her thoughts still dwelt on how it felt to be in McCoy's arms, and it was making her stomach queasy. She hardly heard Scotty's report on the source of power they were nearing. She just wanted to get out of that damn elevator.

Finally, the ride slowed and the doors whooshed open. Standing alone in the hallway was a young woman with reddish hair, and she looked terrified; she obviously wasn't anticipating strangers with phasers. She reached for a device on her wrist, but Kirk stunned her first. Once the girl was crumpled on the ground, the captain stepped out with caution and checked to see if the coast was clear. It was and he signaled for them to join him.

McCoy injected her to bring her to, and once she stirred Kirk pulled her to her feet.

"You do not belong here." the girl said, her voice bright and confused. "You are not Morg."

"Take me to the one in charge; I wish to speak to him," Kirk insisted, cutting the girl off.

"Him? What is him?" the girl wondered aloud.

"What have you done with Spock's brain? Where have you taken it?"

The girl sighed in exasperation. "You are not Morg or Imorg. I know nothing about a brain-"

"You're lying!" Kirk yelled, cutting her off again.

"She's not, Jim," countered McCoy. "No change in readings. She doesn't know."

Reluctantly, the captain let go of the girl's arms and stepped back. He turned to Scotty. "See what you can pick up on your communicator."

Scotty nodded and strode down the hall. Kirk paced in front of the girl.

"We don't want to hurt you," he assured her softly. "What is this place?"

"This place is…here," the girl said simply.

"Who are you?" Kirk asked.

"I am Luma. I am Imorg. You are not Imorg, you are not Morg. What are you?"

_Naomi Wildman was brighter than her_, Kes thought. And Naomi had been only a few years old when….

Kirk opened his mouth to inquire Luma further, but McCoy stopped him.

"Jim…it's no use. You'll get nothing out of that one. Hers is the mind of a child."

Scotty came running back up the corridor. "Captain, I've got something, but I can't quite pinpoint it."

Luma tried to run off, but Kes grabbed her before the girl had taken three strides. Kirk nodded in approval.

"_Fascinating. Activity without end, but with no motion."_

"Spock, is that you?"

"_Captain Kirk?"_

"Yes…yes…."

"_Captain, there is a definite pleasurable experience connected with the hearing of your voice."_

"Where are you, Spock?" asked McCoy.

"_Is that you, Dr. McCoy? And are you with the captain?"_

"Well, where else would I be?" he drawled back.

"Mr. Spock, where are ya?" questioned Scotty.

"_Engineer Scott as well. Unfortunately, I do not know where I am."_

"We'll get to you Spock. It won't be long."

"_Practical idea, captain. It seems unlikely that I shall be able to get to you."_

Kes smiled at the wit and with a word from the captain, the group moved down the corridor. Kes held Luma's arm firmly, but she gave her a smile of reassurance.

They turned a corner and a woman with two male guards came up the hallway.

"There she is. That's the one. What have you done with Spock's brain, what have-"

But his words were lost as darkness descended over Kes' eyes. Her hand slid from Luma's arm and she sank to the floor…

…

_She was walking down a corridor of Voyager, but the hallway was deserted. She recognized it as Deck 5 near sickbay. Realizing this, she increased her pace. Soon she reached sickbay doors and they slid open, but it wasn't sickbay. It was the holodeck, but she knew she was on Deck 5._

_The program running was of a tropical forest. Again, she was alone, but she could hear birds calling in the warm air. She wondered through the trees and explored the area, but all the while she felt like she had to meet someone here._

"_Hello?"_

_She spun around at the greeting and was surprised to see a little girl standing a few feet away from her. The girl's hair was reddish blonde and waved down her back. She looked perfectly human except for the soft spikes running down her forehead._

"_Naomi? Naomi Wildman?" Kes asked incredulously._

"_How do you know my name?" Naomi asked. A hint of fear was creeping into her voice._

"_I was there when you were born, Naomi. But you probably don't remember me. I…left the ship."_

_The girl's eyes lit up in comprehension. "Oh! The doctor told me about you! You were his assistant in sickbay…you helped Voyager. And…you saved Seven's life."_

_Kes nodded and smiled. "But that was a long time ago. I'm not on Voyager anymore."_

"_Well, where are you?"_

_Kes shook her head, then frowned. Where was she? Why was that question so hard to answer?_

"_Are you dead?"_

_Naomi's voice brought her back. "No, I'm not dead. But I don't know where I am."_

"_Kes?"_

_She spun around at another voice. She saw Dr. McCoy striding through the trees toward her. She turned back to Naomi, but the girl was gone._

"_What are you doing here?" she asked McCoy, but he only smiled. _

_Suddenly darkness overwhelmed her and a voice rang out, coming from everywhere and nowhere._

"_Do you know why you are here?"_

"_What do you mean? This is only a dream!" she shouted back to the voice._

_Cruel laughter surrounded her, and rough winds whipped her hair._

"_You are not here by coincidence, Kes. We brought you here."_

"_Why?"_

She jerked awake and looked straight into a pair of bright blue eyes.


	25. Spock's Brain, Part 2

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

She shot up, startled. McCoy sighed in relief and sat back on his heels.

"Welcome back, lieutenant. We've been trying to wake you up for the last five minutes."

She rubbed her temples; her head was pounding, and Kirk's voice didn't help any.

"I've got a headache…"

"What happened, Kes?" The captain crouched down beside her. "We woke up about fifteen minutes ago, but you were still asleep."

"Any unusual dreams?" asked McCoy with a knowing look.

She looked at him apprehensively. "I'd rather not talk about it right now."

The CMO nodded in resignation. "I understand." He held out a hand and they rose to their feet together. Kes looked around in confusion.

"Where are we?"

"We're still in the underground settlement. We're being held here and there are guards at the door," answered Kirk.

She glanced nervously at a guard, then to Kirk.

"Gentleman, lady," he said pompously, "this fellow is keeping us from our property."

"Well, isn't there a way to correct that situation?" said Scotty. Kes nodded in agreement, understanding what was about to happen.

"I certainly think that science might provide an answer," Kirk replied.

"It does, captain," said McCoy with a small smile.

"Agreed, doctor."

Kirk spun around, and with the full force of the spin pummeled the guard in the stomach, and McCoy and Scotty went after the other, who was in front of the door. Kes stepped out of the way and let the men take care of the situation. She was never very good at hand-to-hand combat even though B'Ellana (in a fit of kindness) had offered to show her how. But being a medical officer, she had simply never learned how to handle herself in a fight. She could probably give a few scars, but she was no match for the burly natives now under attack from her crewmates. Within three minutes, the guards were subdued. Kes grabbed her medkit and, after orders from the captain, gave them a sedative to keep them under.

…

"Jim, it worked for her, it might work for me."

"_She is an alien. The configurations of her brain are different. It could cause irreparable damage to your human brain, doctor."_

"I'm a surgeon already. If I could learn these techniques I might be able to retain them."

"_Captain, you might lose the doctor that way."_

"He might…but we're sure to lose you if I don't try."

"Doctor," interjected Kes. "I'll watch you and remember this. We can bring these techniques to the world."

McCoy's eyes lit up and he beamed at her with gratitude. "See Jim? Isn't that worth the risk? Wouldn't you insist on taking such a risk yourself?"

The captain nodded in resignation. "Go ahead, doctor. Put the Teacher on."

McCoy strode toward the device, and Kes noticed the slight hesitation in his glance. She walked with him and stood by him.

"No!"

But the woman's protestations were swept aside and the doctor stood in front of the Teacher. He turned around.

Kirk brought the device down onto McCoy's head, and a roaring sound filled the room. McCoy winced once, twice, even brought his hands to his face in apparent pain. Kes gripped the handle on her medkit, ready to come to his aid if needed.

Finally, the doctor fell to his knees and pinched his hands to his forehead. Kes whipped out her scanner, but McCoy waved her away. He looked up, smiling.

"Of course…of course…a child could do it…a child could do it!"

Kes laughed in the face of his new-found confidence and helped him to his feet. He looked at her with excitement.

"And you'll remember every move I make…"

He looked like he wanted to say something more, but Kirk directed Spock over to a table and they proceeded to begin operation.

…

It had been about two and a half hours and surgery was going well. The majority of the nerve endings had been reconnected with the brain, but the doctor was faltering.

He tapped his chin, searching for the answer. She took a big breath and took his hand in hers.

"Here. The next one's here."

He looked at her with trepidation, but she gave him a smile.

"Captain…he's forgetting."

Kirk turned and looked to McCoy. "Bones?"

"The nerves…there are a million of them…what am I supposed to do?"

"I told you, doctor, the next one's here."

She pointed to the spot. "And you use that tool in your hand."

The captain looked at her with incredulity. "How do you know?"

"She has eidetic memory, Jim," said McCoy. "She knows."

Step by step, nerve by nerve, she directed the remainder of the surgery. They decided to reconnect Spock's vocal chords so that he could help as well.

"Now, try the sonic separator."

"Put it here," Kes directed, pointing, and the doctor obeyed without question.

When it was finally over, Kes let out a big breath and went to sit down. She was exhausted from the long procedure and ready to return to the _Enterprise_. The captain must have read her thoughts.

"_Enterprise…Enterprise _come in."

"_Lt. Uhura here. Yes, captain."_

"Contact Chekov and the security team and have them beam up. We'll be beaming up shortly with Spock."

"_Is he all right?"_

"He's perfectly fine, Lt."

…

"Kes?"

Dr. McCoy beckoned to her when she came into sickbay for her shift. He gestured to a seat and she sat down. He leaned against his console.

"I read your report and sent it to Starfleet Medical…they said it was the most amazing thing they've ever heard of, and they're dedicating a team to start research. They'll be drawing all of their information from both our reports…and they wanted me to thank you for making yours so utterly descriptive and detailed."

His eyes twinkled as he said the last sentence, and she smiled back at him. It faded, however, when she felt the familiar lurch in her stomach.

"Kes…" He sighed and sat behind his desk. He seemed unsure of what to say next. Finally he looked up at her.

"Do you ever notice how patients are calmer when you help them? They're more cheerful when it's your shift. I get more cooperation out of them when you help me."

"Doctor, I'm just trying to do my job to the best of my ability. If the patients are happier when I'm around, then that's wonderful. I've outdone myself if one person is happier to come to sickbay because I'm the nurse on duty."

He chuckled, but sobered quickly. "I was just giving you a compliment, darlin'. But you don't give yourself near enough credit. I don't know any other nurses aboard this ship who can tell me how to restore a brain."

His cheerful gaze was doing strange things to her stomach. She smiled at the compliment.

"No…no, I guess not. But again, I was just doing my duty."

He shook his head in incredulity. "If you must be modest, go ahead. I think you should be proud of yourself."

He came out from behind his desk and knelt in front of her. "I've been meaning to tell you this ever since we got back to the ship. You. Were. Amazing. Never in my life could I have asked for a better nurse to work by my side. You could give Ms. Chapel a run for her money."

His hand closed over hers. "You saved Spock's life."

"You performed the actual surgery, doctor. I didn't do this alone."

"Well," he looked at the floor, then back to her. His sly look made her mouth twitch upward. "I was just doin' my duty, lieutenant."

She couldn't help herself: she laughed and hugged him tightly. His laughter joined hers and he helped her to her feet. But his hands slid up to her shoulders, and his thumb gently caressed her uniform.

"Kes, do you want to have dinner with me tonight?"

Her heart rate shot up in response, but she nodded.

"Sure, doctor, I'd love to."

"Great! Listen, meet me after your shift, say…1900?"

She nodded, and with a wink, he returned to sickbay.


	26. Day of the Dove

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. I was going to do a bit with McCoy's POV, but I think I'll wait on that till later chapters. Enjoy!**_

"For years the Federation and the Klingon Empire have been at peace. The treaty we have honored to the letter."

"We took no action against your ship, Kang."

"Were the screams of my crew imaginary? What were your orders, Kirk? To start a war? You've succeeded! To test a new weapon? We shall be happy to examine it."

"There was a Federation colony on this planet-it was destroyed!" Kirk insisted.

"By what? No bodies, no ruins. A colony of the invisible?"

"Yes…a test of a new Klingon weapon, leaving no traces. Federation ships don't specialize in sneak attacks!"

"We had wondered when you would begin." Kang paced in front of the gathered group. Five _Enterprise _crewmembers were lined up, weaponless. Kes stood tall beside McCoy and looked Kang straight in the eye when he passed her.

"You lured my ship into ambush with a false Klingon distress call. You will tell us why with the proper persuasion-"

"You received a distress call? We received a distress call!"

"I don't propose to spend the rest of my life on this ball of dust arguing your fantasies. The _Enterprise _is mine!"

Kirk stared back in defiance, hatred permeating every feature of his face.

"Instruct your transporter room to beam up aboard." Kang held the communicator out to Kirk, and the captain stared at it, but did not touch it.

"Go to the devil," Kirk spat. Kang only smirked.

"We have no devil, Kirk. But we understand the habits of yours."

"Then burn in a fire pit of Gre' thor," Kes spat back. "The sentiment is the same, is it not?"

Kang raised an eyebrow, obviously surprised she knew something of Klingon lore. Her crewmates had the same look on their faces as well.

"It is you and your crew who are without honor, girl." He caught sight of her ears. "Surely you are no Vulcan?"

"No." She answered simply. "And even if I were, you would have the advantage, Kang. I know a warrior when I see one."

Kang turned to Kirk and smiled. "I like this one, Kirk. She has a polite yet feisty tongue. And she stands with the grace of a warrior."

He turned back to her. "But a warrior must also know pain. I will torture each of you, to death if need be, until the captain beams us up."

He came to stand in front of Kes. "Bring her first. Her pain will convince the others."

McCoy grasped her hand, and Kirk started forward. But Kes waved them both aside and, though her heart was pounding, stepped forward.

"So be it."

One of the other Klingons placed a device on her cheek. Immediately, fire flooded every nerve in her body. She nearly collapsed to the ground, but drawing on strength she never knew she had, she managed to stay on her feet.

"Kes!" Two men's voices mingled in concern for her.

"Stop the torture!" Kirk pleaded. The device was pulled from her face and she straightened. Kang's expression was almost a smile.

"Jim, you can't hand over the _Enterprise_!"

Kes heard neither the doctor's protestations nor Kang's warnings as she rubbed her face. The pain had been intense, and she had no wish to experience it again. But she got the distinct impression that Kang was impressed by her.

"No tricks, Kirk."

She watched as Kirk ordered Spock to beam everyone aboard. She caught Kang's glance in her direction, so she stood tall as the familiar tingle of the transporter surged through her.

…

She sighed in frustration as two more men came limping into sickbay. She directed them to a free biobed and scanned them. One had a cut ligament in the back of his leg, and the other's ankle was broken. Shattered would actually be a better term. Again, she sighed.

Although she had no personal grudge against the Klingons (she had been on fairly good terms with one for three years), she was beginning to understand her crewmates' deep-rooted animosity toward this people. She got an eyeful of injuries, and most were gruesome and cruel. _Monsters live in us all_, she thought to herself.

She had even seen radical changes in McCoy's behavior. Gone was the compassionate doctor she had come to cherish. This one had too much Mirror in him, muttering about "those fiends" and war.

_Why are we acting like this? _she thought as she healed the ligament. _Everything seems so…primal. _

Indeed, none of the wounds she was treating came from modern weapons. They were done with bare hands or blades. Where did the swords come from, though?

"You're fine, Robinson, but you need to stay off your feet for at least 12 hours, ok?"

He snarled back, "12 hours? I need to get back to auxiliary control and take it back from those dirty bastards!"

"Robinson!" she cut him off. But she forced herself to take a deep breath. "Please Frank…don't use those words around me. All right? 12 hours, no less."

She waved him out of sickbay, knowing full well he had disregarded everything she had just said.

_Monsters live in us all._

A scary thought came floating up from the depths of her mind.

Was there a monster in her too?

…

"I just received a call from two crewmembers on Deck 7. They can't move, so go down there and help them out. Hurry!"

Kes nodded and grabbed a medkit on her way out of sickbay. She ran down the hall and willed the turbolift to go faster. If these crewmen couldn't move, they must be in pretty bad shape. She tightened her grip on the knife McCoy had pressed on her when he gave her the errand.

"_You'll need this. Who knows what those monsters will do?"_

For the first time, her confidence gave way to twinges of fear as she pondered his words. These Klingons were not afraid to tear her to pieces, if their actions on the planet were any indication. She had surprised herself when she bravely stepped up to be tortured, but she suspected it was a deep-rooted desire to protect her crewmates. She didn't want any of them to be hurt, especially McCoy. Strange actions aside, he was still the dearest thing in the world to her. If only he knew.

The turbolift doors opened, and in the corridor were a group of Klingons. She gasped in horror when she saw what they were doing.

Crewman Garcia and Robinson were covered in cuts and bruises. She could tell they were barely alive, and the five Klingons were quickly draining whatever life her crewmates had left. Robinson was up against the wall, a Klingon hand at his throat. Garcia was crumpled on the ground, probably out cold or dead.

"Stop!"

She drew her knife and rushed forward, but she didn't think through the situation. Her desire to protect surpassed her common sense. There was no way she could take on five Klingons single-handed.

"What have we here, boys?" The largest of the Klingons came forward and grabbed her arms, forcing her against the wall. The knife fell out of her hand and clattered onto the floor, forgotten. She saw in her peripheral that Robinson had down the wall. She hoped he wasn't dead.

"Is this the warrior girl Kang told me about?" the Klingon continued. "She handles pain well, boys, and she's familiar with some of our lore."

The gathered group laughed cruelly. The Klingon's face was inches from her own.

"But she's such a tiny little thing. I'm surprised she hasn't been eaten up by some dashing young man yet."

Their laughter rang in her ears, and she felt dizzy for some reason.

"I'll bet she tastes delicious!" called another. She cried out as his teeth sank into the flesh of her neck. She struggled and tried to free her hands.

"Pa'taak!" she spat. Her assailant pulled back with a grin.

The laughter was defining. "She even knows the language! I'd bed her if she weren't so fragile!"

"You want to see just how fragile you are?" she countered. The group exchanged gleeful looks.

Employing the only fighting move she knew, she broke the Klingon's hold on her and applied an upward thrust to his nose. She heard a satisfying crunch as the heel of her palm met cartilage. But she wasn't free yet. Another one grabbed her and ripped her collar. She kicked and scratched and finally managed to break free. Filled with panic and adrenaline, she didn't hear the order to let her go.

She made it safely to the turbolift, but just as the doors closed, she saw a red orb-like thing, like a shining web of energy. It slipped into the bulkheads just as the doors were closed.

"Sickbay," she ordered the turbolift. She looked down at her uniform to assess the damage done to it and sighed in exasperation when she saw it exposed some cleavage. McCoy's reaction to all this would be…interesting.

Panting as the panic and adrenaline wore off, she wandered back into sickbay. McCoy had just finished treating another injury when he turned at the whoosh of the door. His expression darkened and grew in horror as he took in her bleeding neck and torn uniform.

"My God…Kes…is that a bite mark?"

"I couldn't help Garcia and Robinson. I'm sorry, doctor; they're still down there…probably dead, if not dying."

He gently guided her into his office and took the medkit off of her. He lightly pushed her into a chair and started to treat her wounds.

"I should have never sent you down there alone," he muttered. She gasped a little as he sterilized the bite.

"We're already short on nurses, doctor. You needed more people up here."

He shook his head and took her arm and cleaned it. She didn't even notice the nail marks on her forearms.

Once he was finished, he helped her to her feet.

"We'll be talking later, Kes. I want to know everything that happened, but some more crewmen need our attention."

She nodded and dashed away tears that threatened to leak out of her eyes. She hoped McCoy wouldn't notice, but he caught the action. His gaze softened considerably.

"Come here, darlin'."

She accepted his embrace with gratitude. With all her might, she wanted to be strong in the face of this danger, but the stress and anxiety she had experienced over the last several hours were getting the best of her. She let go of her restraint, and tears ran down her cheeks and onto McCoy's shirt. He massaged her back, and the steady rhythm of his hand up and down her back almost sent her to sleep. She felt his breath softly caress her hair, and his lips lightly brushed her forehead. She looked up at him.

And then berated herself.

Her stomach was doing backflips in the light of the fiery gaze that blazed down at her, and she saw that look on his face again. His eyes flicked from her eyes to her lips to her neck to her torn uniform, then back to her eyes. She felt her breath grow fast and ragged, cursing herself all the while. He opened his mouth to speak.

But the real world came back to them and the spell was broken. He looked away, then rushed out to help the remaining injured.

She let her breath return to normal before she followed him out.


	27. For the World is Hollow, Part 1

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. Today I bring you "For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky", because leaving that out of a romance fic involving McCoy is like doing a report on the Founding Fathers and leaving out George Washington. So with this chapter comes something that the story desperately needs: drama! On with the fic.**_

He had just finished cleaning off his desk when he heard the whoosh of the doors. He turned around and smiled at the sight of Kes. But instead of the cheerful grin that usually greeted him, she looked subdued.

"Rumor has it that you're leaving, doctor."

He sighed and nodded. "The rumors are, unfortunately, quite true. I have resigned my commission aboard the _Enterprise _and will be leaving once we reach a starbase."

He turned around to double-check his desk for any more items, but stopped when he felt an arm on his shoulder. He looked at the owner of that arm.

"You know you'll be missed. Deeply."

He nodded and turned to face her. "Let's not say goodbyes, Kes. They're tedious, and besides, I'm not leaving yet. But I promise you we'll share one last meal before I go. We can remember all the good times!"

His hands came to rest on her shoulders. "You've been a wonderful help to me over the last two years, Kes. I've come to respect your resourcefulness, your attitude and your devotion to medicine, and to this crew. I knew the moment you came on board that you'd be one of the best officers on this ship. So do me a favor, lieutenant, and don't give up on medicine. You've got a natural talent, and nothing would make me happier than for it to blossom. Hell, you could be CMO one day!"

He gave her a quick hug, then picked up his medkit and strode from the office. As he walked down the corridor toward the turbolift, his thoughts still dwelt back in that office with that woman. He had come to cherish her and to appreciate her opinions, and his mood was considerably brighter when she was on shift. Deep down in his heart, he knew he loved her, but he couldn't, he wouldn't bring himself to acknowledge it. She deserved better than a middle-aged doctor with one year to live.

So he decided to maintain their current friendship and to let his romantic feelings for her go.

Easier said than done.

…

"Is there a woman for you?"

He glanced down, thinking of Kes in all her beauty: long golden hair, bright blue eyes, and a smile that shone brighter than the sun. But he remembered his earlier promise: that he would give her up and let her have someone that she could be with for longer than a year.

"No," he said, looking back up at Natira. "No, there isn't."

…

_You're being pathetic, _she thought to herself. _Just like Neelix. Accept the fact that he didn't like you and move on! _

She knew that there were other men on the ship that were attracted to her, but she had ignored them all because of her feelings for McCoy. Now that he was gone forever...

She heard the door buzzer. "Come in!" she called.

The chief engineer strode in, holding a glass bottle of liquid in one hand and two glasses in the other.

"Scotty! What a pleasant surprise! Come in, please." She took the bottle from him and set it on the table, then sat at it. He followed suit.

"It's good to see you, lass. We haven't talked in a while."

"No, we haven't," she said. "So let's catch up. How are things in engineering?"

"The _Enterprise _is as fit as a fiddle. How are things in sickbay?"

Kes looked down at her lap. "We're taking it hard."

She heard the click of glass on glass and soon a shot was shoved in front of her.

"Take a drink, lass. I've got something to say."

She cautiously sipped the liquid. It was warm and burned pleasantly as it went down her throat. She looked up at Scotty.

"Now…I know from the moment you stepped off the transporter pad two years ago that Dr. McCoy has been head over heels in love with ya. And I don't blame him. He's been lonely for God knows how long, and then here comes a beautiful young woman. I've seen the way he looks at ya, Kes…he had it bad."

Tears threatened to fill her eyes as she realized what a wonderful opportunity had come before her…that she had missed.

"Scotty…you mean that?"

"I wouldn't lie to ya. I didn't tell you to make you upset…I told you because he's a fool."

Her eyes, which had been on her glass, flicked up to Scotty. "What do you mean, Scotty?"

"I mean he's a fool for never tellin ya how he felt. Here he has a beautiful woman who enjoys his company, and he never tells her that he loves her!"

She couldn't help it. Tears ran in silver streams down her cheeks. "Oh, Scotty…"

His gaze softened. "There, there. What's done is done."

He looked at her closer and raised his eyebrows. She looked away hastily.

"You loved him too, didn't ya?"

She looked at him, then closed her eyes. A nod confirmed his theory.

His hand closed over hers. "Lass…"

"A long time ago, I told a friend that there was nothing sadder than a missed opportunity. I said I knew better than anyone…and yet here I am."

"Come 'ere, Kes." He got out of his chair and pulled her into a bear hug. After a minute or two, they broke apart and sat back down.

"Let's drink to the fool, Kes," said Scotty, raising his glass. "To Dr. McCoy!"

She raised her glass halfheartedly and sipped it, subdued for the moment. They sat and talked of other things for the hour Scotty visited, but eventually he packed up and prepared to leave.

"Hang in there, lass. It'll be ok." He clasped her shoulder and strode out the door.

Kes wandered back to her bed and laid down, pensive. McCoy had loved her all this time? What was the look he had given her in those embraces?

_Don't think about that; it'll only make things worse. Put the past behind you and move on._

But the rational words fell on deaf ears, and McCoy's face swam in front of her mind's eye like a ghost.

_Desire._

_That was the look in his eyes when he had held her close…so long ago…_

Her pillow was moist when she finally fell asleep.


	28. For the World is Hollow, Part 2

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. More drama! Hey, I've got to stretch the angst out somehow.**_

Kes had nearly cried for joy when she heard that McCoy was back and healthy. Scotty had come to deliver the news personally when the doctor beamed back from the asteroid.

But now, as she sorted through samples in the lab, she felt confused. She had come to accept the fact that she had loved McCoy and that he was gone. But now he was back, and Scotty had assured her that he was in love with her. Confusing and conflicting thoughts whirled around her brain.

She was due to have dinner with an engineer, Lt. Richard Yates, tonight at 1500. She intended to go and fulfill her promise, and to have a good time.

_Dr. McCoy never had that dinner with you. He promised._

She chuckled to herself as the emotional side of her tried to make her feel…less guilty. Now she felt trapped between her previous feelings for McCoy and her effort to move on. She didn't want to upset the lieutenant by cancelling dinner, but she would be upset if McCoy were to think she was dating someone else.

_It's just dinner. Relax._

…

He strode down the corridor toward the mess hall, feeling cheerful and hungry. The doors swooshed open.

Heads turned and people beamed at him, some gesturing for him to join them. But he politely signed a negative and sat by himself, choosing to people watch.

Many people were in the mess hall that evening, some playing chess, some just talking and laughing. But he noticed in one small corner of the room, two lieutenants talked quietly over dinner. He frowned slightly.

_You said it yourself, she deserves better than a middle-aged doctor._

But he was healthy again, and most likely had more than one year to live.

_You wanted her to find someone her age. Admit it; you're too old for her._

Doubt gnawed at him as he swallowed a bit of salad. But he smiled politely when Scotty sat across from him.

"Mind if I join you, doctor? I won't be long."

He nodded. "What brings you to my table, Scotty?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad that you're back with us, doctor."

"Thank you," McCoy replied, smiling.

Scotty nodded in Kes' direction in the corner. "The poor lass took it hard."

His glance once again strayed to the corner. Kes was laughing at something Yates had just said.

"Did she?"

Scotty nodded solemnly. "I paid her a visit and we talked. And I've got something to say to you before I leave for my shift. And I'll say now I mean no offense to ya."

"What is it, Scotty?"

The chief engineer stood up and gazed down at the doctor.

"You're a fool, doctor."

He set down his glass and strode from the mess hall, and he never looked back.


	29. Tholian Web

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

_She watched from her station as Katherine Janeway took a longing look around the bridge._

"_I'll be leaving soon. I wish you all the best of luck. Hopefully, I won't be too far behind you. Tuvok...walk with me."_

_But her order was met with silence. She glanced at Tuvok, who simply raised an eyebrow._

"_I cannot, captain."_

"_Why not?"_

"_We're not leaving without you, captain." She turned to her first officer, then to others on the bridge. Their hands were away from their consoles. Janeway turned to her._

"_Seven?"_

"_I will not comply." _

_The captain sighed in joyful exasperation-_

Kes awoke with a gasp.

She allowed her breathing to steady, running a hand through her hair.

"Computer, time!"

"0815."

Cursing, she ripped the covers off of her and hastily showered and dressed. If Steinburg were still around, he would have known what was going on. But Janet had never heard of her visions, but Kes hoped she could explain, with the doctor's help.

It was quiet in sickbay when she entered, but she quickly found McCoy and explained the situation. He nodded to a biobed and proceeded to scan her.

"Everything's normal except…"

Kes smiled ruefully. "How high?"

"30% above normal."

She frowned in surprise. The vision was short, but she expected her serotonin levels to be higher.

"Thank you, doctor. If you would call Finn and explain-"

"I've got you covered. Now," he clapped her lightly on the shoulder. "Get on down to work."

She nodded and with a smile, she was out the door.

…

After her very long shift in sickbay, she took a few hours to get some sleep. The grief of the day weighed on her, and she was eager to escape into dreamland.

She brushed her hair and gazed into her mirror, musing on the captain and her limited time in his company. She had never really had a proper conversation with him; he was always too busy. Now as the crew mourned for their lost leader, she wondered if it was better this way. Her grief was lessened by her lack of knowledge about the captain. Her grief took shape when she saw others so downtrodden; she knew it would be a very long time before this crew healed. McCoy seemed especially affected: he and the captain had been friends for years. But for some reason, the doctor's grief was hidden. Perhaps he put on a mask to broadcast confidence amongst his department; perhaps he simply had not come to terms with this tragedy. Either way, she let him be.

Her eyes had not been trained on the mirror during her musings; rather, they had been observing the products placed on the desktop. But her eyes found her reflected image again.

Suddenly, she doubled over in pain. Her abdomen stung as if doused in acid. She steadied herself on her dresser and raised her eyes to the mirror. Although the pain was abating, she dropped the brush.

Captain Kirk was in the mirror.

His image or ghost was reflected there as if he were standing in her place. But he floated like he was underwater or in space, putting his hands to his mouth to call out. However, no sound reached her ears.

Then, he was gone.

At first, she stood there in shock. Then she sprang into action.

"Spock!"

She was out of her room and racing down the corridor.

"Mr. Spock!"

She saw the doctor up ahead and rushed to him. He held her up as she was on the point of collapse.

"Doctor…I've just seen the captain…"

"What do you mean?"

"He's alive…he's alive!"

"Of course…" But he was incredulous.

"You don't believe me…I did see him…Spock! Mr. Spock! Got to find Mr…"

She felt strong arms around her as the world blacked out.

…

"Ahhhhh!"

Chekov's screams seemed never-ending. When he wasn't screaming or struggling with his restraints, he panted like a hunted animal. She turned her head away and tried to concentrate on other things.

_My mother would have been 8 yesterday. Soon she'll go into the Morlogium and lose her grip-_

That wasn't helping.

_That dream was so real…Captain Janeway was going away for some reason, and the crew convinced her to stay…who was I?_

She remembered in the dream, she had glanced down at her console and her hand was covered in…implants…

_Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01. _

Why was she seeing that through Seven's eyes?

But her thoughts broke off when she saw McCoy approach her bed.

"Mr. Spock didn't believe me either, did he, doctor?"

"Well, no one saw it but you, Kes."

She sighed. "I don't even know now…did I see him? Was it real?"

"I don't think so," McCoy whispered gently. Chekov's screams came back to her ears.

"Will I become like Chekov, doctor?"

"No, no," he assured her. His hand twitched like he was about to place it on her shoulder, but he kept it at his side. "We're working hard. We'll find an antidote."

She gave him a small smile and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep.

…

She awoke when the tightness around her waist was gone. Her eyes fluttered open to see McCoy standing over her, smiling.

"Does this mean I'm all right, doctor?"

"Yes, Kes, you're fine."

"Then what I saw was…"

He nodded. "It was real."

"So Captain Kirk is…alive?"

His smile widened. "We all saw him; the captain's alive."

She let out a deep breath that she didn't even know she was holding in. When she made to sit up, McCoy gently took her hand and placed his other on the small of her back until she was upright. She nearly flushed when all the old feelings came rushing back, but she managed to hide her face by looking the other way.

"_Nurse Chapel to Dr. McCoy."_

"McCoy here."

"_Results of the last Theragen test ready for you, doctor."_

"I'll be right there."

With one last glance at Kes, he strode out the door.

…

Finally, she was done sorting through the samples. It had taken her a week and a half to complete the job. The last hour had been tiring, but she had a nap in sickbay.

She turned at the sound of an opening door and smiled brightly when she saw who it was. McCoy smiled back, sighing inside as she once again undid his every effort to remain neutral toward her. Their relationship was already too confusing.

"What's that in your hand, doctor?"

He glanced up at her and smiled widely. "The answer."

Her smile brightened and he felt a strange sensation in his stomach. It was too familiar for his taste.

"Doctor…that's wonderful! Was it Theragen after all?"

He nodded and handed the glass to her. She took it with a muttered 'thank you' and sat back down at her stool. She sipped it and raised an eyebrow.

"Alcohol, doctor?"

He chuckled. "I don't think straight Theragen tastes very good, lieutenant."

She nodded and took a larger sip. "It's good."

He sighed. "After all the work we put into it, it had better be good." He threw her a sly smile and she laughed.

"It's quite good, doctor. Thank you."

He felt slightly awkward as he watched her drink the rest. She looked at him expectantly.

"Anything else, doctor?"

"No. Have a good day, Kes. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, he exited, leaving her alone with an empty glass and a whirling mind.


	30. Plato's Stepchildren

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"The ship is locked tight. So we might as well get a head start on those new samples from Tesla V, Kes."

Kes nodded and took a seat. "So how have you been, Janet?"

"Fine. You?"

"I've been all right. Hand me a sample, would you?"

They worked in silence for a few minutes. Then, for some odd reason, Kes felt a tug around her midsection, like an invisible string was trying to pull her off her stool.

Again, she felt a tug, stronger this time, and she looked around, trying to find a cause of this sensation.

But then, she was off the stool and being dragged out the door like a wild animal. Janet called her name, but Kes was already down the corridor. She was pulled into the turbolift and collapsed against the wall. She didn't pull any levers, either. The turbolift moved on its own, or by the will of some strange power.

The doors opened and she fell to her knees when the force pulled her from the turbolift. She hastily got to her feet and continued her parade toward the transporter room. She saw a security guard up ahead, but when she passed him, his phaser flew from his hand and he was pinned to the wall. She threw him an apologetic look as she was forced onward.

She saw Lt. Uhura and Nurse Chapel already in the transporter room when she arrived; both were struggling as she was to gain control of their own faculties. The transporter chief was pinned like the guard, and once she was pushed onto a pad, she saw the controls move of their own accord.

During this entire macabre puppet show, she could not open her mouth. It was as if her vocal chords had been cut.

When the last molecule was in place, she saw Dr. McCoy, Spock, and the captain standing there in shock at the ladies' presence. Kes and the other two were obviously not expected.

"Lt. Uhura. Nurse; Lt. Kes."

The captain didn't have a chance to say anything more; the three were forced to march from the room. Down two corridors and into another room they marched. The door closed and locked behind them.

Feeling release, Kes turned to the others.

"What just happened?"

"I felt like a puppet on a string," Uhura whispered, mortification tingeing her voice.

"I thought I was dreaming or sleepwalking," Christine commented. "But why are we here?"

Kes frowned. "I don't know. But the captain and the others obviously didn't expect us."

"Do you think…whatever's holding the _Enterprise _in orbit and blocking communications brought us down here too?"

Kes nodded to Uhura. "That would be the best explanation."

She sighed and made to sit down, but someone came in. He was a dwarf dressed in the style of the Classical Greeks, and he held a pile of neatly folded cloth in his hands. He bowed to the ladies and approached them hesitantly.

"Here are some clothes for you. They want you to put them on and make yourselves presentable. You'll find cosmetics in that drawer over there."

Uhura took the clothes with a polite nod. "Who's they?" she asked.

"The Platonians," the man said. "They brought you here. Oh, by the way, I'm Alexander, and I'm dreadfully sorry this happened to you."

"It's nice to meet you, Alexander," said Kes with a smile. She believed him, and she felt pity for this little person. She had the distinct feeling that he was a slave to the whims of the Platonians.

"If you need anything, just ask. Sorry, I've got to go," he called as he was dragged from the room.

Kes stared after him for a moment. So he too was at the mercy of a higher power, and helpless to stop it. They had more in common than he realized.

"Kes, look at this dress." Christine held up a deep blood-red dress with a slit up the side.

"I think it's meant for you. It goes wonderfully with your hair."

She smiled ruefully and changed into the dress. Uhura was in a long (and rather revealing) pink dress, and Christine received a long-sleeved blue dress with sequins on the trim. They did their hair and makeup as ordered, then wandered into a darkened room.

They saw Spock and Kirk come from another entrance, and for the moment the five were alone.

"Are we ever glad to see you," Chapel said.

"We were forced into the transporter and beamed down. It was like being someone's…puppet."

Christine hastily related her experience and the captain nodded.

Then, they heard laughter come from everywhere and nowhere, but no one revealed themselves.

"Spock, do you feel any effect of the kyronine shot?"

"I did experience a slight flush, captain."

"Kyronine?" asked Kes. The officers turned to her. "Can't that be used a power source?"

Kirk nodded, then glanced at Spock. "What if McCoy were to give her a shot?"

"It is most likely that mental power is inherent in her species; therefore, the shot would probably have greater and faster results on her."

"Good…just what I thought." He strode back toward Kes. "Lieutenant, McCoy isn't here, but you've got to find him and let him give you a kyronine shot." He took her shoulders. "If it doesn't work with Spock and myself…you may be our only chance."

"Understood, captain."

He smiled grimly and turned back to a table. "Spock, let's try a simple test. Concentrate on raising that bowl of fruit."

They tried, and nothing happened.

The laughter returned, and with it, sliding panels fell away to reveal a large group of people, dressed like Alexander. Kes swept her eyes over the group and found Alexander off to one side with a drum. McCoy was sitting by what appeared to be the leader. She looked at him and tapped her side, hoping he would get the drift. He frowned at first, but then she deliberately looked to her side where a medkit might hang. He understood and placed his hand on his medkit. Then she glanced at Kirk and Spock, then back to McCoy. She wasn't sure if he understood, but hopefully she would have the chance to get close to him and explain their plan.

"I know, what would be better than a serenade from the laughing space man?"

With a clap of his hands, Parmon tugged Kes, Christine and Uhura into a seated position on one of the beds, and Spock seated on the ground before them. Alexander struck a chord and Spock began to sing. Although his singing was rather good, it pained Kes to see Spock in such a compromised position. But from the little she had picked up about her fellow officers' treatment here, this was fairly lighthearted.

The first officer finished his song, and the Platonians applauded.

"And now, let the revels begin."

A wave of his hand had Uhura, Spock, Christine and the captain standing together in the middle of the room. Kes was pulled in front of them; however, Uhura was paired with Captain Kirk and Spock was with Christine, and she was left without a partner.

"We've had a song from Mr. Spock, why not a dance from the girl?" commented one of the Platonians.

Parmon smiled and immediately, Kes was forced, like a puppet, to dance. It was…strange and alien to move her body in this manner. On Ocampa, she never danced; she was too busy caring for her plants, and she was too busy with her work on _Voyager _to spend her time in such a strange fashion. She was made to raise her arms above her head and swing her hips from side to side. It felt…dirty.

Thankfully, the control was not long and the Platonians' attention returned to the foursome behind her. Spock ended up kissing Christine, and Kirk held Uhura in a passionate embrace.

"The poor dancer is without a partner! Wherever will we find her one?"

In two seconds, McCoy was forced out of his seat, over the sill and in front of Kes. His hands, beyond his control now, slid up her arms and slowly pulled her to him. She looked up at him and whispered:

"Doctor…the kyronine shot…inject me."

His hands wandered to his medkit, but unfortunately Parmon jerked them away to rest on the small of her back.

"I can't," he whispered back. His lips lightly caressed her forehead, and despite her fear and anger, the contact was giving her chills.

"You know what they'll make me do, Kes. I'm sorry…"

But every thought was swept from her mind when his lips met hers. It was a hot brand on her skin, and fire flowed from the kiss to every nerve in her body. She gasped in surprise…and in pleasure. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to have his lips caress hers. Oh…it felt so good… Almost forgetting herself, her lips parted slightly, inviting him in. But she remembered her objective and reached for the doctor's medkit. The hiss of a hypospray made her lips twitch into a smile against his kiss. Still, it continued, Parmon forcing passion out of the six of them.

McCoy breathed in and berated himself for the feelings he felt when his lips found hers. It was bliss, an explosion of sensation waiting to be explored. His grip tightened instinctively as her lips parted. She…wanted this? He had seen Spock's reaction to kissing Christine, and both tried to resist. Kes was putting up no resistance to this contact. It confused and exhilarated him. He heard the slight hiss of a hypospray and rejoiced in his mind.

Now Parmon would pay.

She felt a loss as McCoy was ripped from her to return by Parmon's side, but she felt something else. Her face felt warm, not just from the kiss but from something else. And as Kirk and Spock were forced against their will to take up arms, she felt a deep surge of emotion coursing through her veins.

Fury.

Power rushed through her and she pulled the weapons from her commanding officers' grips, and they stared at her in awe and gratitude. She cast the table of weapons aside, scattering hot coals across the tile floor. Then she looked to Parmon. The room became dark as she extinguished all put a few lamps.

"The next one of you that tries any trick will get hurt. Not only do we have your power, but we have it at twice your power level. And she was born with powers far beyond anything you could imagine!" said Kirk, coming to stand beside her.

Alexander, seeing his chance, climbed over the sill and picked up a knife that had been cast aside.

"Not twice my power level," growled Parmon.

The dwarf climbed the sill and was about to reach Parmon when a lady in green stopped him.

"Parmon."

The leader finally noticed Alexander. "Alexander likes to play with knives. Very well, we shall indulge him."

The knife, which had been turned toward Parmon, now turned to Alexander, nearly piercing his chest. Kes called the knife to her and cast it aside.

Parmon, irritated at her display, made all the weapons in the room float and surround the five crewmen. All at once, they flew inward.

But Kes sent out a wave of power, and the weapons froze and dropped. No matter how hard Parmon tried, they would not rise again. She made him climb the sill and kneel before Kirk. The captain nodded to Alexander.

"Listen, Parmon," the dwarf said. "I could have had your power but I didn't want it. The sight of you and your Academicians sickens me. Despite your brains, you're the most contemptible things in this universe."

What Kes would have done to have said something like that to the Ogla Kazon. She let Parmon stand, and he approached Kirk contritely.

"Kirk…you knew that I intended to destroy both you and the _Enterprise, _yet you spared me."

"To us, killing is murder, even for revenge. But there will be other starships-"

"-There's no need for concern. They'll be safe, um…of late I have begun to think we have become bizarre and unproductive, existing only to nourish our own power. It's time for some fresh air. We shall welcome your interstellar visits."

"Good words," said Kes sarcastically, "if you believed them."

"Indeed, that is highly uncharacteristic. We must expect, Parmon, that the moment we leave here, your fear would be gone, and you would again be as sadistic and as arrogant as your 2,500 years have made you."

"And remember that we can recreate that power, in a matter of hours, or minutes in Kes' case, so don't try anything."

Parmon nodded and bowed his head. "Understood, captain. And you're right…none of us can be trusted. Uncontrolled, power will turn even saints into savages. And we can all be counted upon to live down to our lowest impulses."

"You're very good at making speeches, Parmon. Just make sure that this one sinks in. Now move aside…Alexander," the captain called. The dwarf came enthusiastically to stand by Kirk.

"_Enterprise, _prepare to beam us up. And Scotty…I have a little surprise for you. I'm bringing a visitor aboard."

…

"_You know what they'll make me do, Kes. I'm sorry…"_

For the umpteenth time, she replayed that kiss in her mind, remembering every detail…every sensation…every urge…it had been so…

She sighed at the twinge of desire she felt as she replayed the scene again. If only McCoy knew how good it had felt to be in his arms…to kiss his lips…

…

"_You know what they'll make me do, Kes. I'm sorry…"_

McCoy lay awake in his quarters, trying to calm his reeling mind. His kiss with Kes kept replaying in his head, over and over…

He got the impression that she had wanted the kiss, that she…

Doubt gnawed at him. It could have been one of Parmon's actions. They were the closest to him when it happened…

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like Parmon was responsible. He sighed and tried to close his eyes, but sleep would not come.


	31. The Empath

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.**_

"You are called captain," said the Vian ominously. "You are responsible for the lives of your crew. Is this correct?"

"It is," responded Kirk.

"We find it necessary to have the cooperation of one of your men in our efforts."

"We will not cooperate!" Kirk insisted.

"When we resume our interrogations, you shall decide which of your men we shall use. It is essential. There is an 87% chance that the doctor will die. And while Commander Spock's life is not in danger, the possibility is 93% that he will suffer brain damage, resulting in permanent insanity. And Lt. Kes might suffer both. The chance is 89% that she will need life support to remain alive."

…

Kes sighed to herself as the doctor injected the captain. Kirk complained, but he was soon subdued by the doctor's assurances and the tranquilizer. Nonetheless, it was easier this way. One down, two to go.

"When the Vians return, I shall go with them," stated Spock simply. The problem was getting him out of the way. Neither she nor the doctor had any medical excuse to inject him with anything. She racked her brain for an answer.

The answer, surprisingly, was Gem, whose curiosity distracted Spock long enough for McCoy to load a hypo. She pretended to check on the captain whilst McCoy crept closer.

"Your action is highly unethical. My decision...stands..."

With that, Spock collapsed onto the floor. One to go.

Standing and smiling, Kes walked toward the doctor. "Down to two now," she commented soberly.

"Technically, I'm in command now. I'm going, Kes. Please don't make it harder by protesting."

She smiled wryly and wrapped her arm around him, partially in her love, partially in preparation for what she was about to do. She was shorter than him, so she had to come from behind.

"No, doctor. I won't protest. But you'll find I have more tricks up my sleeve than you."

With that, she pressed down on his nerves and carefully guided him to the floor. It was the first time she had tried the Vulcan nerve pinch, but thankfully, she was successful. She raised her eyes to Gem.

"If I die, tell Dr. McCoy...I'm sorry." Turning back to the doctor, she quickly pressed her lips to his and stroked his hair.

"I love you, Leonard McCoy. And I hope I get to tell you in person."

The Vians materialized, ready to take her. She took off her medkit and handed it to Gem, and with one last longing look at McCoy, she strode towards the Vians and her death.

…

McCoy awoke with a kink in his neck, and he quickly sat up to find Kirk and Spock stirring.

"Doctor...what are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I remember Kes said something and I told her to stay..." He looked with horror at Spock. "She used that nerve pinch of yours on me..."

Spock frowned. "She did know a Vulcan in past years. It is possible they have mind-melded and she has learned that technique. You, on the other hand, have jeopardized your chances of survival with unethical means."

"Bones," said Kirk, "why?"

McCoy sighed and stood. "I didn't want to see either of you in pain. So I almost succeeded in being the one taken when Kes stopped me..."

Out of his hazy memories, he recalled feeling a gentle hand guide him to the floor...and something pressed against his lips...

He looked at Gem, who handed Kes' things out to him. Gem looked like she wanted to tell him something, but her non-verbal communication was difficult, if not impossible to decipher.

"Completed, captain. The controls are delicate, and it may not survive more than one use; however, there should be sufficient energy to transfer us to the _Enterprise_."

Gem frowned and pointed to Kes' things in McCoy's hands. The doctor rounded on Spock.

"What about Kes? We can't just leave her here. Who knows what those monsters are doing to her?"

"Will it take us to her?" Kirk asked Spock.

"If you so desire."

…

Kes was surprised by the gentleness with which she was taken down from her bonds. She was losing conscientiousness fast, so she set her mind on a mantra, trying to induce another Vulcan technique to heal herself.

"Kes..."

She opened her eyes and stared into McCoy's bright blue ones. "I'm sorry, doctor..."

"There's no need to be sorry, Kes..." he whispered back. She felt a warm hand stroke her hair as darkness clouded the edges of her vision. The whir of the scanner made her smile.

"I doubt there's much you can do for me now, Leonard." She knew she would die soon. She used his first name and uttered it with all the love in her heart. She closed her eyes.

"Well, doctor?" she heard Kirk say to her left.

"She's right, Jim. It's only a matter of time." Was that...regret in his voice? She opened her eyes a sliver and found McCoy's hand.

"I should have told you a long time ago-"

"Shh...don't speak, Kes..." he murmured softly.

"Gem could help her the way she helped me," she heard Kirk say, a little further off. "But will Kes' nearness to death also kill her?"

"Uncertain, captain," Spock replied. "Dr. McCoy's analysis of her reaction says her instinct for self-preservation would prevent it. However, we cannot be positive."

"If she could just strengthen her and keep her from sinking further into death, we might be able to save her."

She heard footsteps, and McCoy stood and took a step toward Gem. But then the force fields came down on all three of them, stopping them in their tracks.

"No interference will be permitted."

"She could save her life," Kirk pleaded. "Let us help her to go to Kes."

"She must not be urged or forced to take action. All must proceed without interference," the Vians countered. "The purpose that brought us together-"

"-What purpose can all this serve, except the fulfillment of some need of yours?"

"We have but one need left in life, and that is to see the completion of the final moment of our tests."

"Be patient," said the other.

"Patient?" shouted McCoy. "She's dying!"

"Perhaps."

"What purpose can be served by the death of our crewmember but to bring you satisfaction?" countered McCoy.

"Surely beings as advanced as yourselves know that your star system will soon be extinct," continued Spock. "Your sun will nova."

"We know," one said.

"Then you also know that the millions of inhabitants on its planets are doomed."

"That is why we are here."

"This...arena of death that you've devised for your pleasure...will it prevent this catastrophe?"

"No, it will not," they answered simply. "But it may save Gem's planet. Of all the planets of Menara, we have the power to transport the inhabitants of only one to safety."

"If Gem's planet is the one to be saved," continued the other. "we must make certain beyond any doubt whatsoever they are worthy of survival."

"How will the death of our crewmate serve this purpose?"

"Her death will not serve it. But her willingness to give her life for her will. You were her teachers."

"We were?"

The Vians nodded.

"What could she learn from us?"

"Your will to survive, your love of life, your passion to know. They are recorded in her being."

"Her planet will be fortunate."

"Each of you was willing to give their life for the others. We must now find out if that instinct has been transmitted to Gem."

A shockwave shook the room. Kes coughed, and tears leaked out as her lungs ached from the strain of breathing.

She felt the surface of the makeshift bed depress, and she opened her tear-filled eyes to find Gem gazing down at her, torn. But soon, she felt the scars and bruises on her face melt away, and Gem's face became haggard as the wounds transferred to her, but soon both Kes' and Gem's faces were smooth and clear again. Gem drooped from the strain.

The empath then tried to heal her further, but she became overwhelmed and she pushed away from Kes.

Another fit of coughing wracked Kes' body, and she felt, after a minute, Gem come back and try again.

"Gem...you'll die..."

She only responded by lightly stroking Kes' face. She was in pain, and the stress was becoming too much for her.

"Don't do this, Gem...I won't allow it..."

Somehow, Kirk, Spock and then McCoy were all freed from the force-fields. McCoy rushed to her side.

"Why did you refuse Gem's help, Kes?"

She looked up at him and smiled wryly. "I think...I know you well enough...you would have done the same thing..."

"You cannot use our powers to change what is happening," she heard one of the Vians say.

"You must save the life of our friend," Kirk insisted.

"No," they said. "We will not. Her instinct must be developed to the fullest."

McCoy glared angrily at the Vians and was about to say something when Kes' finger pressed gently to his lips.

"Don't argue..."

"If death is all you understand, here are five lives for you."

Kes looked up at McCoy as she felt her final breaths coming. "Leonard..."

Blue met blue, and a spark ready to burst into a blazing inferno jumped from one to the other.

"Oh, Leonard, I need to tell you...I..."

Another fit of coughing kept the words in her throat, and McCoy's steady hand supported her as the coughing eased. Then she saw one of the Vians stand over her, and everything inside her sighed in relief.

She was healed.

…

Humming to herself, she finished her report. She turned and smiled widely when McCoy entered the medical lab.

"Done with that report, lieutenant?"

"You're timing is perfect, doctor."

She handed him the report and sat back down. He followed suit, still reading the report.

"Excellent, Kes. I'll get this to the captain. But first..."

He paused and his expression became very gentle.

"When you were about to die...you wanted to tell me something."

Her heartrate increased as she thought about it. She couldn't shy away from telling him much longer, but now was not the time. She wasn't prepared.

"I guess...something along the lines of...you're very special to me, doctor. I wanted you to know that."

It wasn't entirely lying. It would do for now.

"That's all?"

"I'd rather keep the rest to myself," she said teasingly. "I'm no longer on my deathbed."

He chuckled. "All right. I won't badger you about it. But someday, I want to hear what you so desperately needed to say to me. You used my first name, so I know it was getting down to the wire."

She sobered. "I hope you didn't mind."

"Coming from you?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "No, I didn't mind."

He smiled and lightly clapped her shoulder. "You can't know...how good it is that you're alive, Kes."

He stood and picked up the report. "It's funny that you're on-par with Spock now. I hope you don't have to use that Vulcan nerve pinch on me again."

She laughed and nodded. "I don't know, doctor. I could take the day off and no one would know."

He laughed with her. "I'm watching my back from now on, lieutenant."

With that, he was out the door.


	32. Elogium, Part 1

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. To my one devoted reviewer, Faded Feathers, I know you wanted to see Whom Gods Destroy and Battlefield, but I've got something better.**_

She awoke with sweat and tears on her face, and was surprised to see she was in sickbay. Dr. McCoy saw her sit up and rushed to her.

"What happened, Kes? We've been trying to wake you for the last two hours."

Every horrid memory of her dream came back to her, and tears started streaming down her face.

_So many screams...all their haggard faces...all the bodies..._

"Doctor..."

She started sobbing in earnest as more of her dream came back. She felt a hand cup her cheek and she looked up at him through tear-filled eyes.

"What was the vision about this time?"

"How did you know it was a vision?" she whispered, her voice cracking.

His expression softened and he murmured back, "Your serotonin levels spiked during those last few hours. But they're returning to normal."

He half-sat on the biobed and pulled her to him. She sat there, crying for all of them, the victims. She had read about it in the _Voyager _computer, but she had never witnessed it.

The Occupation of Bajor.

She truly realized now why B'Elanna and the Maquis spoke the word "Cardassian" with hatred and disgust. She understood their cause now, and though she would never join them, she knew exactly why the life of a Cardassian meant nothing to them.

The Cardassians were butchers, and the Maquis knew it.

Many of the Maquis on _Voyager _were Bajoran and had probably lost someone during the Occupation. They would go any lengths to avenge the deaths of their family, their friends, their people.

She felt McCoy's hand stroke her hair and felt a soft swift kiss on her forehead. She looked up at him and kissed his cheek, trying to convey her gratitude to him. He had been holding her for five minutes now, and he had been trying his best to help her for the last two hours.

Her hand pressed to his cheek as she gazed into his eyes. "Thank you, doctor. I needed that."

She wiped her tears and tried to compose herself. McCoy's hand rubbed her back gently as she sorted her feelings and tried to get back to the present. Finally, she slid off the biobed and turned back to McCoy.

"You've done more than enough for me today. Is there anything I can do for you while I'm here?"

"Actually," he said softly, "I wanted you to take the day off. Whatever that vision was, it was very hard on you. You need to rest for today, maybe even tomorrow too. I'll check on you in your quarters later, ok?"

She nodded and gave him another quick hug. With a quick stroke of his cheek, she gave him a weary smile and left sickbay.

…

The door chimed and she called for her visitor to come in. McCoy strode in, smiling and carrying a medkit. But his expression changed as he saw the empty bowls and plates surrounding Kes. She was sitting on the floor, reading a PADD and shoveling mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"Kes?"

She saw him and grinned widely once she swallowed her mouthful of potato. "Hello, doctor! You know...I haven't had mashed potatoes like this in...four years? They're really good!"

She continued to read and eat, and McCoy stepped closer. "How many bowls have you eaten today?"

She wondered to herself. "About six."

When she stopped to think about it, an expression of horror crossed her face and she looked up to the doctor with pleading eyes.

"Oh, God, is it time already? Not again...not now..."

She gathered the dishes up and put them in the disposal, wiping her hands nervously on her uniform. She rushed to her drawer and dug out her scanner and McCoy did the same. The two whirred and revealed the results.

"Elevated tempeture...increased electrophoric activity..."

Kes nodded and sat down on the bed, putting her head in her hands. "Not again..."

"What's going on, Kes?"

She looked up at him with a strange look._ Was that...desperation? _he thought to himself.

"My body's preparing for me to have a child."


	33. Elogium, Part 2

_**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. To my devoted reviewer, Faded Feathers, here's to you. Sorry this took so long.**_

"What?"

Kes sat down on the bed and brought her knees to her chin. He noticed she was perspiring heavily. He walked over to the bed and sat next to her.

"You're telling me that the reproductive process of your species is beginning?"

She nodded and closed her eyes.

"How do you know?"

She glanced at him in desperation. "I encountered an anomaly that drove me into this state about 3 years ago. It was a false alarm and the doctor said it could happen again when I was the right age...oh, God..."

She pressed her head to her knees. McCoy scooted closer and pulled her to him.

"Tell me more about this, Kes. I need to know everything you know."

Slowly, carefully, she described her previous symptoms and the events that transpired. McCoy listened and stroked her hair.

"So I'll have only fifty hours to conceive a child once the _ipasaphor _appears."

His hand moved from her hair to her back, but stopped.

"What's this?"

"That's the mitral sack where my child will grow."

He scanned it, then glanced back to Kes. He gasped.

"What happened to your eyes?"

"Have they changed color?"

He nodded and leaned a little closer to examine them. He noticed discoloration around her eyes as well, probably a normal symptom. Her breathing was rapid and he could feel the heat coming off of her.

"Doctor...I don't have a mate. How can I have a child?"

He gazed into her eyes as he considered this.

"It's a natural biological process that only takes place once in a lifetime, Kes," he said softly. "I'm sure there's someone on this ship that would be willing to help you."

As he watched her, he saw her expression change from desperation to shame to hope to desperation again. She looked torn and indecisive.

"Doctor McCoy...no, I can't..." she whispered more to herself than to him.

"What is it, Kes?"

She glanced up at him. "Doctor McCoy...would you have this child with me?"

…

She knew she had just ruined everything, but it was now or never. She just hoped he would understand.

"What?"

_Just tell him. _"Would you be the father of my child?"

_Tell him how you feel! This is your chance, and Scotty said he loves you._

_-How can I tell him? I've ruined this enough by asking him to be my mate._

_You'll never know until you ask._

She felt her heart sink as shock spread across his face. _He'll never accept._

"Kes..." he began. "You're sure about this?"

"I want to have a child, doctor. This is my only chance. You said so yourself."

He nodded absentmindedly. "But why me?"

_Tell him._

_-It'll destroy our friendship. I can't._

_Yes, you can. Do it!_

"You really want to know?"

"Yes."

She took a deep breath and said her four damning words.

"Because I love you."

She closed her eyes and waited for him to make his excuses to leave. But she didn't hear anything.

"Kes?"

She opened her eyes and nearly gasped at the look on McCoy's face.

"You really mean that?"

She nodded and tried to control her already rapid breathing.

"I understand if you don't return my feelings, but-"

Her excuses were stopped by his lips. She inhaled sharply as he pulled her closer. Now that he knew, all her love was poured into that kiss.

Every doubt was wiped from his mind as she reciprocated; she loved him, and all his hopes were fulfilled in that tender moment.

_She really did reciprocate in front of the Platonians._

_She had kissed him after she gave him the nerve-pinch._

_She was about to say "I love you" before the Vians healed her._

It was all so clear to him now. As he cast back in his memory, he could recall looks that she had given him, moments where they had been alone and she had seemed on the verge of kissing him, but she never did. Now, she gave him everything he had ever dreamed of.

"I love you too," he whispered to her as he finally pulled away. "I've wanted to tell you for so long..."

She rested her head on his chest. "Doctor?"

"Call me Leonard, would you?"

She smiled. "Leonard, would you be the father of my child?"

"I would be honored, darlin'. Just tell me what I need to do."


End file.
